Fii- YANAA Mazlan

2012-02-05T19:42:00.001+08:00

I still remember, our first time working as partners. How you asked me whether I smoke. The second time, I actually received this from Mon, "Later I'll let you partner with your boyfriend. Please make him happy." I really have no idea who he was referring to, until we were partners again.

I remember Lisha, Ferrah, Syida and Lan actually told me the things you asked or said about me. I remember how you start a conversation with me on fb with "Hello, you look rather familiar(:" on 24th September. I remember how you wanted me to give you a wake up call, so you inbox me your number. It was on 2nd November! I remember I was in school, at Event Piazza to be exact, I gave you a wake call. That's how you get my number. That's when we started texting each other. Thats how everything started.

Do you remember our first date? Kill you, if you don't. It was on 28th November. I remember how I actually asked you out since I actually back out the last minute when you first asked me out. Both of us wanted to watch Breaking Dawn, so I asked you to cancel all your plans with your friends, and catch it with me. Remember?

Remember the hard times we need to go thru? But look, we're still standing strong. I'm glad (':

I shall make this simple, short and sweet alright. After all the ups and down, I'm happy and proud to announce this. I'm glad that we're officially together. I'm glad that I'm yours. I'm glad that you're mine. I'm glad I can now call you my boyfriend. I love you baby. Be my last baby, will you?

I shall never forget how nervous we were on 2nd Feb. Shall never forget that.

2012-01-25T01:47:00.000+08:00

Hi, I just came back from my 3 days of holiday. I had it at Port Dickson with my dearest family and mom's friends & family.

I really had a heavy heart leaving Singapore mainly because I can't get thru Qamarul. Do not know why I had a bad feeling leaving Singapore, but looks like seems like, uhm, nvm I shall talk about my holidays first huh. Sounds good? Uhuh.

So we left the house on Sunday at 4am. All of us were praying so hard that lil bro could get in cos' his passport's expiry date is next month. Thank God the officer was busy talking to his friends that he didn't really concentrate on his job. All of were so happy for my lil bro. Met mom's friends somewhere and we went there together. Again, we prayed so hard that nothing will happen to us and yes, had a safe journey. So much for Villa huh mom? But it's okay though, I don't mind.

Before checking in, had a few rounds there. The surrounding so rabak. If only we booked a Villa, the surrounding would be much more better. Cos' it's too late to book so had no choice, Ancasa hotel it is. Checked in at around 2pm and then rest for 2 hours. Found out that they have wifi so made use of it to tweet. Yes, I really can't stand not talking or texting or meeting Qamarul for a day, so tweeted him. Sadly, he wasn't active. Went to the room and got changed. Gold Kart over there was awesome. Too bad, we only had it once and then went off to some other place. Went to Idk what resort for our late dinner. Cik Yati was fed up with their service. We waited for the food to be ready for almost an hour I think? Or maybe more than that. Service was fucked up but the dishes were damn fine! Went back to the hotel after that. I really can't stand not hearing any news from Qamarul. I know that I was on a holiday but.. Went to the lobby just to see if I received anything from him. YES I DID. So I was really happy. But hah.. I shall talk about it later.

Had to get ready by 12pm the next day. Swear to God, I wasnt looking forward to it. Had to pretend that nothing is bothering me, so I acted all crazy and hyper. Yes, I was really hyper that I even took a video of us singing to "Someone like you" and "Price tag" song. Credit goes to my lil bro and my two step sisters. They said I entertained them well, but I think THEY MADE MY DAY, they really did. We went to Kl and then to petaling street. Fuck petaling street so much. I can't stand their people. I got something for Qamarul. At first I do not know what to get for him. So mom was like, " Kak, taknak belikan apa apa untuk Qamarul?" Told mom that I have no idea on what to buy for him. So Mom asked if he smoke. & I said yes. She asked me to get him a lighter. So cute right my mom?! & Then she asked me on what to get for big bro. I suggested on getting him a boxer! & Somehow it reminds me of Qamarul so I asked Mom this and I was joking actually, "Mama belikan Abang, kakak belikan Qamarul hahaha!" & Mom agreed -.- Are you kidding me Mom? Mom really did buy boxers for big bro. CONFIRM TIGHT FITTING, CONFIRM SEXY ON HIM. Hahaha ok. In the end, I bought Qamarul an iphone cover. It's not a casing, it's like a cover. Whatever you name it. I got the same cover for myself too, awwwww. At first I wanted to get a different cover, but Mom and her ideas, "Kak, beli lagi satunya, yang ini lawa sama dengan Qamarul." & Then step dad, "Yang ini pun boleh tahan, lagi lawa. Lain daripada yang lain. Orang muda pakai mcm gini." & His words were damn convincing. The seller was on his side. But still, I bought the same as Qamarul's. After pampering myself, we went back to the hotel. Since that was our last night, I decided to chill at the lobby with Mom's friend's children. Chilled till 3am and went back to the room.

Slept at 5am plus and had to wake up at 7am. IMAGINE THAT. Had breakfast at 8:30am. The food is quite nice. Ate too much, didn't know that they were planning to drop at Pizzahut for lunch. Checked out at 12pm. Had our late lunch at Pizzahut. Homed almost 8 I think? Or maybe earlier than that? Whatever it is, I enjoyed the trip and I had fun.

Anyway, I need to thank you so much. That's how you welcome me back huh? Seriously? You were the first person I text, like I promised you. I tried not to think about you all the time, when I'm there but I can't. I miss you so much, I put my ego away so I replied to your tweet like as if I'm perfectly fine. Maybe yes, I shouldn't have tweeted that, shouldn't make you worried, shouldn't make you think too much (well that if you think too much ah), but at least ahh at least, ahhh I'm tired of saying the same thing. You can't be bothered anyway. Sorry if I got carried away, what's new to you right? I'm always thinking too much, what's new right? I'm always insecure, what's new right? I'm always over reacting, again, what's new? Having trust issues and etc. WHAT'S NEW RIGHT? It has always been me, me, me, me and me. I'm always the fire starter, looks like it, seems like it, sounds like it. But have you ever thought of the cause of it? Why am I always reacting this way? Obviously no, cos' you always wanted me to put myself in your shoes. I DID TILL I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT MY OWN FEELINGS, whether it's gonna hurt me so bad. Are you aware of that? Hah, again no. Told you that I can never make you happy. I can never satisfy your heart. I am never good enough for you, never good enough for anyone. I do not know how to make you happy, do not know how to make anyone happy. Sucks to be me, sucks to be me

Goodnight all

2012-01-18T05:40:00.004+08:00

Meet my bestfriend/favourite boy #1, Shahrul Anwar K. PATHETIC FACE

Hello lovely people.

It's been so long I didn't update my blog huh? Right now, I really don't feel good at all. Nah, I'm not gonna talk about it. I think it's better to keep it to myself, right?

Shahrul said that I've lost so much weight. He said that my thighs, my wrist and my arms are getting smaller now. I didn't know that this bestfriend of mine, could see the changes in me. Aww, I'm so touched. He said that I'll soon remove him from my life, since I've been really busy with my own life and that, I didn't make any effort to see him. Do not know what was I thinking and doing, I think he's not the only having that thoughts. He asked me to promise him that I'll be happy, cos' he said that he got the feeling that... This is not good. He knows me very well, and too well. Ahh, I'm sorry if I was a great disappointment to you.

You know what girls. We're all pretty in our own very ways. Whether we're too skinny, too fat, too short, too tall, too fair, too dark, or whatever, we're still beautiful. No one have the rights to call us ugly. Who are they, to judge God's creation? We're all beautiful girls, alright? So smileeeeeeeeeeee, be proud of who you are :*

Qamarul Qamarul Qamarul are you not tired? You've been running on mind man. Sigh, I'm not sweet talking. I just can't stop thinking about you. Ahh and the thoughts of leaving Singapore in a few days time, damn it. Okay, it's only for three days, but AHHHHH....... I'll miss you.

Mama, let's change Port Dickson to Resort World? HAHA K BYE

Never planned that one day I'd be losing you..

2012-01-07T05:27:00.002+08:00

I've been really emotional these past few days. No longer recognize myself. Since when did I ever been so emotional? Every night without fail, crying to myself. I tried to make myself feel better, no doubt, I used vulgarities on you cos' I thought I could satisfy myself but I feel so much worst after doing that. I tried to convince myself that I'd find a better man, better than you but I couldn't picture myself with any other guys. I tried many ways, but I just won't stop talking or thinking about you.

I miss you, Q

2012-01-05T02:05:00.000+08:00

I think I've disappoint a lot of people. I've never been this weak before. Maybe, I love too much, that I hurt myself so much? Remember that Aini? Weird, I don't hate him and I can't hate him. In fact, I still wanna be with him. I'm sure there is still a lil hope for us to be what we used to be right? I ever had a lil conversation with Shakinah, she said that we can plan but God decide. I cried to her, saying that I don't want anyone else, I want him. Silly me. How can I possibly go against God?

I've been crying a lot since that day. I didn't ask for any sympathy, no. I was feeling so miserable, I couldn't hide my tears, I couldn't pretend. I even thought of locking myself in my room, not doing anything, just rot. But why must I do that? It won't make you change your mind anyway. How can someone said that he loves me, and then take his leave? How can someone said he's not gonna make me cry, but he's the reason why I've been crying a lot now and then? I do not know where I go wrong. So can you please, tell me what's happening? What is wrong? Please baby. This is killing me.

You know I'm still hoping that you would change your mind even though I know that it'll never happen. Cos' you've made it clear that, it's up to you.

I guess I should stop here now goodnight all

I still love you, Qamarul Ariffin (':

2011-12-27T02:33:00.001+08:00

Hello lovely people.

This sound stupid but, Christmas over? Haha. I spent my Christmas eve working with my Aini. I'm sorry I couldn't make that memorable. You know you're free to work there as and when you want, just tell me and I'll try to get the slots for you. Haha, but I know you won't be coming back after Countdown. Whatever it is, see ya on Thursday!(;

So my Christmas was well spent I think? Had picnic with ze relatives. If only the rest of our relatives were there, it would be awesome huh. Well, me and Shakinah had to work on that day so, we left around 5pm. I've been really sensitive that even the slightest things got me really mad. Too bad, not your day not my day. Nevertheless, I had a great time with Shakinah, Fir and Luftie. Was wondering if Macd is a place for their customers to sleep. There were like, 4 of them sleeping soundly (?) Cabbed home with them. & Guess what? I fell at the staircase. The next day, tiba-tiba ada lebam. How cool.

So yesterday, had lunch cum dinner with ze family at Boon Keng Village. We then went to the shopping mall at Serangoon (I forget the name of the shopping mall cos' this was my first time going there). Myself, Shakinah and Shafrinaz were really sleepy that we fell asleep in the car. Still, we all had fun right.

Will be working later at 6pm so have a nice day xx

Thank God everything's back to normal <3

2011-12-22T07:58:00.001+08:00

I can't wait to have breakfast with ze girls here xx

Hello babies.

Guess what? I just got back home from meeting my baby-girl, Aini. Been fucking so long we didn't see each other huh? Dang, I miss her. This shit always happens to us, like not meeting each other for weeks or months, and when we meet, BUMMMMM, we're always crazy. So me and Aini planned on how we're gonna celebrate our countdown. I swear to God, I can't wait for this party moment. I'm gonna take care of myself, she'll be there, she's gonna take care of me, this time, I won't and am not gonna be sorry. We'll punch them in the face if they're not happy with us or if they don't fucking understand that we're not gonna entertain their bullshits. Nah, I'm just joking. I'm won't go to that extent. Most to most, I'll fucking run away or call the police immediately hahahahaha! I'm fucking sensitive, fucking coward, can't even stand it if anyone were to yell at me, so how can I even punch people on the face?

Okay lemme be frank. I'm excited but at the same time, I don't have the heart to party like one crazy bitch. I'm currently "dating" someone and I don't want him to have this ugly thoughts or mindset or whatever shit about me. I'll have to admit that, I don't and will never like the idea of seeing him club, especially when we're having this "thing". But, since he have been doing that even before we met, I guess I should think nothing of it? Furthermore, he's not the type who enjoys club. Therefore I think, I shouldn't let it affect my mood or this "thing" we're having. Now do you all get me when I said I don't have the heart to party? Even I don't like the idea of seeing him club, what about him then? I have this habit of prioritizing other people's feelings. I'll get paranoid if I don't do that. This is the reason why I always end up getting hurt. Cos' I don't think of my own feelings. I will think of other's first, then I will think of mine. Sometimes, I don't even give a damn about mine. As much as I don't want him to do this and that, I won't/can't/will never stop him cos' I don't want him to think that I'm controlling his life. Just like me, I won't and don't like it if he were to control mine. Well unless it's really a bad thing for me or him, other than that, "no, you can't control me.". I don't control people's life. We're not kids anymore, we know what's right and what's wrong for us. If you think it's ok, then it's ok. If it's not, do something. Don't wait until something happen then you'll do something. We all know that, the more people control our life, the more rebellious we get.

So if I have kids, I'm not gonna control them. But they should fucking know their limits. Want club, go la go. Want drink? Can, but don't fucking get drunk. Want smoke? As long as you don't get caught when you're an underage smoker. Drugs? Can, but don't ever come back. I think I'm way different than my mom. She's aware of my first and second time going to events but she don't like the idea of me clubbing that often. She never thought that I would drink and get myself drunk until one day, an ex of mine sent me home when I'm in a drunken state. She dislike smokers, and she wouldn't like it if I smoke especially when I'm a girl. The only thing I've never and will never try is, drugs. The reason why she doesn't want me to do this and that is because, she doesn't want others to think so low of me, especially that bitch. Though she remarried, she is still a single parent to me and my big bro. She work so hard for us, send us to school and stuff, but none of us fulfill her wish. Both me and my brother quit on school. I just hope that lil bro won't give up. He's fucking smart, smarter than me. HAHA. Lil bro, if you quit school, I'll beat you up, I won't give you face. Furthermore, Dad have been pampering you with lots of things, don't disappoint him. He came all the way to woodlands from work, just to teach you and then went back home to Bukit Batok ok. When it was my time, he did the same thing, the only difference is, we stayed at the same house at that point of time, he don't have to rush here and there. I've disappoint him, so if you're ever gonna end up like me and big bro, you'll be a great disappointment to the whole family. His hard-work is not paid off, get what I mean? Everyone is aware of how much Dad loves you that he'll go to the extend of killing the person who's trying to make it hard for him and you. So please, don't ever disappoint him. If you're older, you have a family of your own, never forget about Ayah okay. IF NOT I'LL KILL YOU. Ok no joke. Love love you people :*

Anyway, I was joking about letting my future kids living their life to the fullest. I want them to live their life to the fullest in a healthy way. My mom's gonna kill me if I let them turn wild. Ok ok shall not talk about this.

Hello Qamarul, just so you know, I really had a wonderful time with you. & in case you're thinking too much, don't ever take it to heart when I said I'm annoyed or irritated by your actions or words. I do not know why I'm emotional since the second paragraph, but baby, promise me that we're gonna make the world ours. Never allow anyone to ruin this thing we're having. Ahh, I miss you so much already. I love you Qamarul Ariffin, I really do<3

xo people..

2011-12-20T05:46:00.001+08:00

MY LIL BRO WAS SO CUTE BACK THEN, I swear to God this fugggging cute la brother.

Its been a while, how are you people doing? HA HA -.-"

Lemme share some good news. Alhamdulillah my cousin, Shakinah made it to Secondary 5. Told you, you're capable of achieving good results. Keep it up, and never give up alright, my dear? We all have faith in you, we know you can do it. Oh, not to forget, Efaa did a great job too. She got 13 points! My God, I'm so proud of you girls. Remember, never let anything or anyone affect your studies. Speaking from experience here. Haha, whatever it is, goodluck for next year girls!

Anyways, are you guys ready for countdown? Or can't be bothered, nothing new? -.-" Well, I'm planning to celebrate it with my secondary school girls. I don't care I don't care I don't care. Been a while, girls, been a while. For goodness sake, pretty please.

On the other note, I really can't wait for Wednesday. I'm going out with my baby. He's gonna accompany me to shopping. I don't really mean shopping as in shopping like hell. I'm gonna pamper myself a Steve Madden's footwear. I'm eyeing one of the sandals, and I really hope they have it at Ions. I'm not gonna get any other sandals, other than that sandal that I'm eyeing for.

OH! & Next week Thursday, I'm heading to town with moi beshfwend. Been so long huh Dean. He have been asking me when will I be free. So next week, next week. I'm still thinking on what should I wear on Countdown. Dean, since you're a guy, you gotta help me on this. I'm sure I'm gonna get my hands bruised. HAHA, kidding. Don't pinch here and there, later tak lawa for Countdown, thanks. No la joke.

People, don't you find my first song on this blog, cute? Ahhh, if only I can celebrate Christmas. It'll be great. This reminds me of Snow City. Snow city reminds me of my dad, my second dad I mean. Ahh, I suddenly miss having to spend time with him. He'll always bring me and my lil bro to places where we can really enjoy ourselves like some kids. Will ask him out one day, let's go to Ice skating. Ayah, jomsxc. KALAU BACA NI, JANGAN LUPA TEXT KAKAK K, lepas tu ajak pergi Ice Skating. Love you :* Hehe

I'm working later at 5pm or 6pm? Ahh whatever it is, I'm still awake right now. It's going to 5am alr. OMO OMO OMOIGOD. You're gonna see the Zombie Yanaa later at work, buhhhhh. I'm gonna get gone. Sorry for the writing a composition. I don't force you guys to read everything either, hahahaha bye goodnights xx

2011-12-16T07:29:00.004+08:00

Good morning earthlings.

So as I've promised, I'll update when I have something to share. Oh wells, I have a lot to share actually. I don't know where to start. So I've been working and Dean have been asking for a catch up session for me, him and Aini. Yeah, its been centuries huh guys. Yeah blame it on me. I'm sorry yeah. I've not been meeting my charlie's angels too. Wait, actually, I've not been meeting all my friends.

Anyway, my previous post, I mentioned about my cousin right? Coincidentally, I met her just recently. I was having supper with Shakinah, Efaa, Luftie and his two other friends at that point of them. Luftie was the one who saw her from far. I was so excited that I shouted ahhh, ran towards her and fucking hugged her. I was thinking to myself, is she growing shorter and fatter? Mwehehe, joking ok sayang. Go home soon love.

Uhm, let's talk about Qamarul Ariffin. Lemme be frank, I'm deeply in love with this boy and I really really really love him. I thank God, we're finally comfortable with each other. I'm sorry baby that almost everyone is calling you by that name. Get used to it, alright Qamarul Oppa, haha. How can I not love this boy who make me smile to myself without fail, even during working time. We were both working and he got the time to send me a text. I was really smiling to myself when I read that text. I swear I love this boy. We're working at the same place by the way.

Just to let you know, I'm in love with this date, 15 December 2011. Cos' that was the date when we finally get rid of the awkward feeling towards each other. That was the date when I finally get to see you acting silly and being crazy. That was the date when you were effing sweet, wait, YOU'RE ALWAYS SWEET TO ME. Ahh I need a time machine pretty please? I love you Qamarul Ariffin Z, I swear I really do.

okay that's all xx

2011-12-09T03:30:00.001+08:00

This was taken on 14th May 2011. (MY FACE ASKING FOR SYMPATHY)

Hello, I think I'm gonna have my period soon. I don't feel good at all. Oh and guess what? I didn't eat anything since morning. I only had bread in the morning. Anyways, I went for a photo-shoot with Efaa. I gave them my best shots and I still had fun despite of the pain I had to bear cos' I was wearing covered heels. Lesson to learn, I should bring extra sandals and clothes to change. I look like some rock chick, Efaa really look good. She should start dressing like that, with the boots, ahh I'm so jealous cos' I'll never look good with boots. Why oh why?): Okay I can't wait for the pictures.

You know I have the habit of thinking too much to the extend of breaking down. I really don't know why I'm always behaving like this. I hate being in this situation so can someone please kill me now. A lot of things have been running on my mind. Can anyone explain to me why I'm like this? Does anyone know why do I always have to think too much? If there's no one, I think there's something wrong with me and my head. Now fml.

Anyway my dear cousin, you should come home soon. Have some pity on your dad, he's lonely and he needs you. Well at least think of our grandma's feeling if you don't care about your dad's. Which grandma would wanna see her grandchildren like this? Don't you miss us? Don't you miss grandma? Don't you miss the good old times? You're making us worried, do you know that? Yes, we're all mad at you, cos' you didn't change a bit, you don't regret at all for doing this. It's like, you're really having a great time with your wild life, you're taking advantage of it. Stop bullshitting, it's time, you should come home and prove to us that you're changing to better. I miss you idiot, I really miss you. Nak enjoy pun, agak agak sikit, tsk. Sorry for all the harsh words, I'm just too pissed with how you handle things. Its way too much, too much I repeat. Don't come home just because your boyfriend is serving NS, and then leave home again cos' he completed his NS. Do that, and I'm gonna kill you. Okay not literally kill you, but hate you, okay not ahhh whatever it is, just don't okay(: Love you idiot.

OKAY ITS 5:58AM I WANNA TUCK IN. LOVE YOU PEOPLE XOXO

2011-12-07T04:21:00.001+08:00

Yeah, no make-ups on. Yeah, I'm ugly. Yeah, shut up.

Hi, it's 4:24am right now. I just feel like updating something. I wonder why some people think that they can fool us again, after being caught for fooling us? I mean come on people, you cannot be that "smart" huh? You people need to stop. Stop fooling people. I'm sure you wouldn't like it, if you were to be in their shoes. You wouldn't like it, trust me. Just a little advise, don't worry I don't mean any harm (Y)

I think if Efaa were here with me, she would probably on tumblr, laughing to herself and I would be on twitter, re-tweeting. We had the best night together, haha. Just kidding. I'm gonna see her later, I can't wait for all her jokes. I swear to God, she's funny.

You know I've been listening to song to put myself to sleep, and I still can't sleep. I've had my bath, and I still can't sleep. I've had my supper too, AND I STILL CAN'T SLEEP. I wonder why my eyes are doing this to me? Please wake up by 2pm Filiana. I don't wanna disappoint Efaa :/

Hello Qamarul Ariffin, why are you so sweet? I can seriously go crazy, do you know that? Ahh, I love this boy la people. I gotta stop feeling awkward, I really should. Sometimes I wonder why is it so hard to talk to him, even a hi. I still remember last Monday, when I wanted to go off and Efaa was like, "You should do something! You should say something!" Guess what? I just bid him goodbye -.-" And I asked Efaa to stop talking and get in the cab, cause she was like, "That's all? Do something!" HAHAHAHA she was kinda stress with me for only bidding him goodbye cos' he stayed with us and listened to all our craps. See, how can I not love this boy? He still treat me the same even after knowing I'm that crazy, that disgusting, that irritating. Hahaha ok ok I should stop.

Have a great wednesday everyone!

2011-12-01T07:07:00.001+08:00

Hi, it's 7:06am now and I'm still wide awake. Don't know why its hard for me to sleep today. I'm not sleepy at all. I'm having work later on, and I don't know if I should back out the last minute or not. I'm actually excited for work cos' I can't wait to meet the apple of my eye but, currently, I'm not in the mood to get out of the house. It's like, I wanna stay at home till I'm done with all the stupid thoughts. Oh come on Filiana, I thought you can do better than this? I thought you wanna be happy? You can't be happy if you're having these thoughts. Ahh I just suck at all this.

You know, just the thoughts of you can seriously make my day. That little memories of us, when I was looking for things and you accompanied me, shadowed me, when we were at Wendy's I felt so cold and you offered me your top or whatever you called it, when there were a lot of people, you pulled me closer to you, when we looked at each other just because I was looking at you and you wanted to do the same to me, when I mocked at you and you scare me to the extend that I'll have to say sorry and you were sorry too, when I dropped some of your coins, I looked at you stunningly and you said its okay, when I purposely chose to walk home than taking bus just so I could walk and spend that last few mins with you, when we hugged each other at the end of the day. How sweet can you get Qamarul Ariffin? I thought we wouldn't go this far, cos' I thought it's impossible for us, I thought it was just a small crush. I was wrong then, I was all wrong. You're the reason why I love to come to work, the reason why I'm smiling myself to sleep, the reason why I check my iphone whenever I wake up from my sleep, easy said, you're the reason why I'm happy every now and then. I must thank you for all this. I'm moving on guys I'm moving on, be happy for me (Y)

I don't know why I'm so sweet but this is how I feel. You should know by now, that little memories of us, mean a lot to me. I can't let it go just like that.

I think I've said too much. I gotta head to bed now before Mama gets angry for not turning in early.

Goodmorning ya'all xoxo

2011-11-29T03:01:00.001+08:00

Hi everybody.

So everyone has been talking about how awesome was Breaking Dawn huh. Now its my turn bitches. I swear Breaking Dawn was fucking awesome yo and I watched it with one sweetest guy ever. I swear I wasn't myself, cos' I'm that girl who wouldn't keep her mouth shut in cinema, that girl who would give a lot of comments, that girl who wouldn't be able to control herself and that girl who would misbehave but with this shy-boy of mine, I do not know how the hell did I managed to behave.

Before that, we had a few rounds at Ion. I was looking for crop tee and also boob-fringe(I know the name is weird, but it was given that name) at New Look but couldn't find any. I saw it online and it was easy to find it online, but I don't trust online shopping so I thought I could find it at any New Look stores but sadly, no. Instead of getting those, I got a new pair of dangling earrings and a ring.

Cos' I saw famos amos, bought 200gm of it but didn't touch it until I got home. How could I forgot the moments at Wendy's. Tsktsk Filiana, you're a bad girl now. We were feeling so cold, but yet, he let me have his top to keep myself warm. He was wearing two tops by the way, so he's not topless. I don't know how to explain it, nvm.

I swear, I enjoyed every moments with him. It was splendid, it was awesome, it was great, it was every-nice-word-you-guys-can-think-of.

As usual, I told my mom about it, never missed out anything, from a-z, even my mom got excited. Trust me, he's the sweetest guy I ever met. I swear to God I'm not lying. I've never met a guy who would keep the movie tickets due to memories, never in my entire life. I've always been the one doing that. Ahh, why are you so sweet?

But anyway, thanks for all the treats, for sending me home and for the great time. Like you said, hopefully it won't be the last time<3<3

Gotta wake this boy up at 6am. Hopefully he'll wake up or I'll start being annoying. I gotta stay awake. Bear with it for one more hour Filiana, you can have your sleep after that.

Goodnights all xoxo

2011-11-27T02:52:00.001+08:00

Hi lovely people, I know I've not been updating my blog so here I am. I've been busy with work and I've not been attending school these few days. I'm not gonna waste my time there anymore since I received a debarment letter for one of my modules. I'm gonna stop, period. Will come back when I'm ready with the course that I'm interested. So how's life Filiana? Muahaha, been doing great. I finally know where I'm going, what I'm doing. I am never gonna turn back. Well if you know what I mean.

Breaking dawn is now showing on cinema. I gotta catch before it gets old. Ahhh, I'm never free nowadays. How could I do this to Edward Cullen?! How could you Filiana!): Its ok, I'm gonna catch it soon. I wanna watch it in cinema not at home! I swear I'm gonna make myself free for this. I swear I swear I swear!

I know my two girls are mad at me for not spending time with them. I'm gonna spend my time with them soon. I'm sorry if I "mia" from you girls, especially Aini. Ahh I'm sho sorry :/

I'm a sleepy girl right now. I'm gonna head to bed now.

Goodnight xoxo

2011-11-14T02:23:00.001+08:00

Do you know why I even become a heavy smoker? Do you know why I smoke and smoke, never stop till I'm done? Do you know why I smoke every 1 second? Do you know? Do you? You don't? Yes? No? So let me tell you why, most of it, I'll have to thank to all the boys for breaking my heart into a million pieces. I smoke, to vent out my anger. I smoke, to let it all out. I smoke, to stare into spaces. Most of the time I smoke, to relax my mind. Ever wonder why I did all this? Because the boys out there never once make me happy? Maybe some of the days, but what about the rest of the days? They fucking bring me down. I'm not referring to only my recent one, I'm referring to all of them who did me wrong and acted as if I'm the one who always did them wrong?

Cos' I do not want to make it so obvious, I'd rather not mention anyone's name or give any clues. But you guys should fucking know who you are ok. Hah, one after another you know. I wonder if I had enough of this -_- Cos' it seems like, I never ever give myself a break.

Why do I fucking smoke non stop? Sometimes I wonder why do I smoke a lot too just because of them? How dumb.So listen up, take my words seriously now. I'm gonna stop smoking. Gonna keep my heels, head and standards high from now on. Gonna make sure you guys fucking regret for doing this to me. I can be happier than you are, I can be happier than that girl you are with. I promise all of you this (Y)

I'm not gonna chase after anyone. I'm gonna stand still cos' if you want me, you'll come running back to me. If you don't, I won't lose a thing anyways. Its not as though I've give myself away, ha ha. So remember, I'm not losing anything :D

Filiana is gonna stop smoking for good \m/ Furthermore, I don't wanna get all stressed over losing a pack of ciggs again. Don't fucking wanna waste my money on this shit anymore. Ok peace

2011-10-20T01:51:00.001+08:00

Hi. I just got back home from work. Surprisingly, my colleagues from Orchard Parade hotel were at Ion, when I was on my way to Orchard Control Station. I miss working with them boys. Damn. So, I had the most slowest partner just now. Even Clement apologize on his behalf haha! I swear I was really mad but I managed to control anger. My partber thought that I've got four hands. He left me and went to other places for so fucking long you know -.-"

Anyway, I've asked Kak Linda abt recommending me to her job. I hope there will be a vacancy for me. I need a full time job now. I don't wanna work as a part time waitress all my life :/ I need a life. Haha!

Tomorrow I'll be going to Bugis with Kak Linda. Woah, I just hope that Zick won't paitao me tmr. I'm meeting Zick first to collect my pay and then Kak Linda.

Ahhh, I've got nothing else to say. Goodbye baby goodbye!

2011-10-19T05:26:00.001+08:00

hi. just a little reminder to everyone, pretty please stop killing or torturing the innocent ones, stop acting so inhuman, you're born to be a human being fuck. i fucking cannot stand this anymore. may those fuckers live in hell. peace.

i'm tired of schooling already. i gotta quit school as soon as possible. i dislike the course i'm taking now, and i dislike the dumb fuck teachers that i'll have to face every weekdays. i fucking need to quit now.

can i let out something? why is it, when guys feel heartbroken, they would make it a big deal and hate the ones who hurt them but when it comes to girls, they'll do nothing or even feel so proud about it? i fucking need at least one bloody reason. life is just so unfair you see. yes, girls may have many advantages, but all the things that we do or did, people would and will take note of it. why is it so hard to live in peace? why must they check us out? why must they meddle with our affairs or life? why are they acting like bitches? i'm annoyed with all these human beings, feels like giving all of them a fucking tight slap on their fucking face.

on the other note, i just got back home from work. it was my first day working at Kudeta which is at Skypark. the view is fucking awesome, really! i got to admit that all the staff there is friendly people. well my first day is great.

if only i'm a human being with no heart to feel, i doubt i'll be able to fall in and out of love. ok goodbye.

2011-10-14T03:31:00.001+08:00

Whats up. I just came back from supper. Mcspicy inside my stomach, feeling so heaven and earth right now and I've break the world record, there's no leftover mcspicy mwahaha. Ahhhh such a pain in the ass, my class advisor have been harassing me to give school a quit. Raymond, its easy said than done. Put yourself in my shoes ok (Y)

Yesterday, had a long night chat with Alastair my handsome(since you said i'm pretty for the fucking first time) chinese cousin. Talked a lot of shits, damn a lot. Fuckyeah, I fucking miss and love this idiot.

Anyway, work was awesomezxc shit. I had the time of my life, and I never felt this way before, and I swear this is true. Hahahahahahaha, if you know the song sing ok. Even though Lisha and Ferrah wasnt there, I still had so much fun working with my partner. He's damn fast manzxc. My little cousin wanna work with me. Soon ok my dear.

K bye my post got no meaning actually. I update for the sake of updating actually. I wanna watch kpop so I'm gonna ditch blog and fb aside now. BYE

2011-10-09T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hi. So, tomorrow is the day that I'll be meeting my Section Head, the day that I'll be making a decision on whether to give school a quit, drop the module that I'm studying now, continue the module but high chance of debarment or change to another course but it'll be taking a long time. I've been regretting on the choices I make in life, so let's hope that I'll be making the right choice now.

Love? Haha, I can just laugh at myself. So much of wanting this ~~relationship~~ to last. So much of it. I know many will think that I'm feeling so good about this, I'm the cause of it. UHUH, I'M FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT IT. Its ok, I'll take the blames. Act normal, be happy \m/ I can do this ok.

Gonna throw away all the pictures with him that I printed out. Gonna delete the photos in my iphone. Gonna throw away the perfume that he bought for me. Gonna erase everything from my mind. If you're reading this, I hope that you're hurt. & Then we're even. I shouldnt have tweeted my feelings, if I know that you're gonna read it. Cause that shows how weak I am. Ahh so stupid right. I don't care if anyone is ever gonna say that I feel nothing about it. Why must I be sad. I must be happy. Anyway, I'm the one who wanted this relationship to end, so yeah. I'm done, we're done.

You can never get away for hurting my feelings. But no worries, we're even now(: hah I'm the worst of all, I'm showing it to you now what's worst.

I'M HAVING FLU RIGHT NOW. BEEN TWO WEEKS ALREADY I THINK? HOPEFULLY I'LL RECOVER BY TMR. AMIN.

2011-10-07T05:06:00.001+08:00

Hi. Since I find it hard to sleep. I shall update something here. Oh well, the girl there is one of my happy pills. She has been there all along. Like, whenever I'm not in my best mood, she will be there and of cause, she will try to make me feel better. Even if she can't do anything, she'll be around me. I'm loving her and I'm loving our new born friendship. Never thought we could be this close, but whatever it is, I love you baby. Do I sound like a lesbian? Oh well, whatever.

I'm currently fighting for my happiness. Like, oh please, I'm tired of all the fake smiles and the frowns. I gotta get my feet up, heads high, smile like one proud happy bitch. I don't literally mean bitch, bitch. For goodness sake, I need to be happy, like before. Before any of these. Ahh, don't ask. Ok I know no one asked. Ok I'm getting paranoid.

I'm planning on making another twitter for myself. Nvm filiana you can do this. Ahh, I'm having flu currently. Cough, running nose and what else? I can't take it. ITS IRRITATING.

tolong please please, tekak like !#E@$@, i've been coughing non-stop and my nose, it's damn annoying. Ahh.....

bye la bye

2011-09-29T07:01:00.000+08:00

Greetings to all. I've not been in a good mood lately. I guess I'm just too tired? I don't know. Everything doesn't seems right in my eyes. I just feel so angry at almost everything. Sigh, never mind. Anyway, my dear girl Ain, slept over at my house yesterday night. We did not sleep the whole night. The best thing is, Nash came over at 9 in the morning for breakfast. We ordered McDonald for our breakfast and then spent the rest of the time sleeping. Well, not really. I think I'm the only one sleeping on my comfy bed, hehe.

So Nash accompanied me to fetch my little brother while Ain had her bath. We all left my house at 3pm. Nash went for karaoke with Jymy while me and Ain, went to Orchard. I planned to work, but my stuff is at Lisha's locker and she's not gonna work, so I followed Ain. Her motive is to take her pay and then back to woodlands. We were all tired, didn't have the mood to walk all around.

I think that's all? Stay tune.

2011-09-28T04:47:00.000+08:00

I'm happy whenever I'm working cause my girls there would always do something so foolish that you'll never escape from laughing your ass out. I'm going for a malay bridal photoshoot this saturday. Wish me luck cause this will be my first time. ok maybe that's all?

2011-09-20T03:35:00.001+08:00

Alhamdullilah, everything is doing fine. Well basically, I've went Raya with Secondary school mates, Ite mates and Pb mates.Yes, I missed a Raya outing with Primary school mates. Whether I'm informed or not, it's not important cause its over. Well I'm sorry that my house wasnt open for you guys cause I was still in school, so maybe next time alright Primary school mates. & to my Secondary school mates, I'm sorry I won't be joining you guys later on for the second part of our Raya outing. Its ok, next time too.

Raya mode is officially over. Its time for me to concentrate on work, since its two weeks of school holiday now. Aku nak pump kerja. Fikiran takmu lain eh.

Salisha, our plan to Raya sesama tidak menjadi :/ Tidak mengapa, we can always go out or chillax after work. Working sesama tidak cukup, we never really did spend time with each other babe.

To my dearest boyfriend, I may not be using the sweetest words to you now then future, but you must bear this in mind, I'm always loving you alright? I will never allow anyone to stop us from going far. Whoever that doubt us, we'll let them be. There's no need for me to prove them wrong, cause they know nuts about us. True or not b? Haha. I'm grateful thankful to God for bringing him to me. May we last forever, Amin.

Now Saufi's having some muscle or whatnots problem on his left arm. I hope he is ok, but I know it clearly that he's not after seeing his condition. This problem appeared eversince he met an accident with a car. Syukur Alhamdullilah, he's ok, except that, he's left arm is giving him problems, like, he have been complaining about how pain it is. & another thing, he's currently having a sore eyes or whatever they call it on his right eye. Must be hard for him to handle. Nevermind, bear with it ok baby. You'll soon be back as per normal. I love him so much.

Anyway, in case you wonder how am I doing. I'm fine. So Goodbye, will update once I'm not lazy.

Currently, I'm texting Afai. Ini Afai tidak tahu sudah pukul berapa, takmau tidur kah? Just a little introduction. Afai is somehow my soulmate, like, he'll always be there whenever I'm in need of someone. He will always be there, whether I'm happy or sad. Always. So beware, he won't pardon you if you're trying to be funny funky cb with me :P Haha tak seram eh? Hahahaha kkk jk. Ini Afai is my boyfriend's secondary school mate. He respect me as Saufi's girlfriend and I respect him as Saufi's friend.

ok ok dah bye. sikit sikit aje, takmau melebih.

2011-09-06T04:38:00.001+08:00

ahh, i'm lazy to go for any raya outings now, be it with family or friends. why? cos' i can't stand the hotness eversince the three days straight of raya outings with family and i tend to lose my temper easily. and now, i'm updating my blog lucky you.

sometimes i do not know why i want my life to be this way for now. its not like i'm changing myself but sometimes, we need to stop giving people chances and face. yeah, we all deserve a second chance, but what if they don't appreciate the second chances that was given to them? must we keep on giving chances? so when will the game ends? next year? next two years? or maybe you'll stop giving chances when you're dead -.- i'm fucking sick and tired of it already. please, i didnt change a bit, but i'm only not gonna entertain any nonsense anymore. i do feel bad, but do they? i've always been thinking about others feelings and not my own feelings but at the end of the day what do I receive? either heartbreaks or sadness. so what's the use of having to put others feelings first? i'm not trying to say that i'm the angels, but people who knows me in and out, should know. i may get mad, i may speak ill of you whenever i'm mad at you about something, but deep in my heart i don't really mean it that way. like, i don't mean every word i say whenever i'm in a bad mood. but sometimes, people should really consider on what i just said to them. though i don't really mean it, i still think you people need to consider. i don't mean it cause i don't have the heart to. i've said too much. but seriously, if only there is home tutoring, I WOULDNT WANT TO STEP OUT OF THE HOUSE. If yes, that's when i'm meeting or going out with my family members. i'm just tired of the outside world for now. like, i need a time for my own. i need a break from all these.

people may not need me now, but they might need me later. its ok, its not my day/month/year. but people, i'm sorry. why must i need you when you don't need me? why should i look for you when you don't look for me? that is why, i'm letting people go easily now. i won't stop them, or even make them stay. but of cause, if you suddenly appear, i would be excited (only to certain people). kirakan, kalau korang kasi aku happy, aku kasi korang happy balik. kalau korang nak mcm sial, aku kasi korang mcm sial jugak la agaknya.

i think, i have been keeping/hiding too many things till i have to react this way. therefore, i am sorry to those who thinks i'm over sensitive or over reacting.

Despite of all these, i thank God, for a great understanding boyfriend, a great family and some of my caring friends to brighten up my everyday. Alhamdullilah :D

2011-09-02T02:45:00.002+08:00

Hello people.

I should let this out. I love my boyfriend so much, so much so much so much. Oh my God, I can't believe it. Mcm kita baru suka sama suka. Ahh, that's the feeling. He have been running on mind. Omg, I love Saufi la <3 Baby, 8 more days to our 2nd Month. So far, this is my longest, this is my best relationship and of cause he is my best. Tell me, since when did I ever not stress myself up when it comes to boys or relationships? So far, our relationship, despite of not meeting each other for days, WE ARE STILL DOING GREAT. & I am proud of that.

I realize that, whenever I hug him, I feel so great, so happy. Ahh, I love Saufi.

Hehe ok bye

2011-08-27T00:22:00.004+08:00

Asalammualaikum God's creation.

Well, I've deactivated my first Facebook account. Soon, I'm gonna deactivate the new Facebook account. I see no point already and I need some space for myself. I'm gonna ditch Facebook aside as for now. My twitter, I do not know if I can deactivate it, but I may not be active on Twitter anymore. Yes, it is the same as missing in action for a moment. I don't mind not having new friends, I don't mind people forgetting who Fiiyanaa Mzln is, I don't mind not keeping in touch with my old primary or secondary school mates. All I know is, I need a break from all these net communications and net friends. I don't care if I'm gonna have lesser friends. Less friends is equivalent to less problems. I have my own reason for doing all this, do not ever think that I'm blaming any one of you. I did this for my own good. I don't think I have to make the reasons to public. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't know this will last till when. Don't worry, we all will meet some other days, if not through Facebook; Insyaallah.

Psst: Don't worry guys, I have got no problems with anyone alright. Do not think negative.

Hari Raya is in 2 days time. Whether you're ready or not, I hope all of you guys would let go of all the past that is haunting you down. Let it be a lesson to learn. Let's all make a difference. Leave the past behind us. Let's look forward to our present and future. Also, I would like to seek for forgiveness, for all the sins that I've done towards anyone of you. I hope you guys would forgive me. Amin (':

I'm sorry if I'm doing all this. We will all meet again, Insyaallah.
& If you guys would like to invite me to any outings, or especially Hari Raya's outing, feel free to text or call my number. I am still using 9199**** number. If I did not respond, means I'm not free.

Have a good day.

2011-08-23T01:31:00.002+08:00

I've create a new account. So its up to me to accept or REJECT you. This new account is strictly for friends/relatives. Sometimes, I don't only reject stranger, I reject people that I know. I have my reasons for that. Not happy with that? That's your problem. Anyway, that's my account. HAHA booya freaks.

2011-08-19T03:00:00.003+08:00

Hi beautiful.

Today, I'm a happy girl. This sound strange, but I fucking love my boyfriend. I was always talking about Aliff Aziz to him, how I want Aliff Aziz to be mine and my future, and guess what? He dreamt of me leaving him for Aliff Aziz. This sounds funny but I like it very much. I'm joking.

Boyfriend's gonna let his friend take over his bike. He thought of waiting for another three months, then buy another bike. I'm happy that finally he is letting go of his bike. If not, he will forever spend most of his money on bike. Nevermind baby, after three months, you can have your new bike. Your bike is your bike. Your bike is not your gf/your baby. Your baby is me :P

2011-08-17T23:25:00.003+08:00

I WANT THIS CHEERFUL YANAA BACK :/

Ok since I do not know what has been bothering me, I shall jot down what I feel and how I feel all this while.

I feel neglected. I feel so lonely most of the times. I feel shitty. I feel offended. I feel stress. I feel sad. I feel like crying. I feel so sensitive now a days. Most of the time, I am paranoid.

I've had no problems with kinship, relationship and friendship. I wonder what's up with me. I don't feel like schooling anymore. I hate myself, really :'/ I do not know who to share this shitty mixed feelings with. It's like, I've got no one to turn to, though I have Afiq. Why him, of all? Its because, he have been there whenever I'm in need of someone, be it when I'm in a good mood, or in a bad mood. He is always there.

Kadang-kadang, sampai taknak jumpa sesiapa, taknak keluar. Kenapa eh macam gini sekali? Tak tau la kenapa. You'll know how it feels like if you're in my shoes.

Haizz.

2011-08-12T23:01:00.002+08:00

Alhamdullilah, I've been doing great. Fasting month is gonna be over soon. I can't wait for the Takbir.

Family? Everything is great! This year, I think we're gonna choose Gold/Brown colour for Raya.

School? I've not been a good girl in school. I think I'm under the debarment list. I need buck up :/ No choice, I have to. Insyaallah Amin.

Boyfriend? We're doing great. Insyaallah, we can go far.

Friends? I need to catch up on them. Udyn, Nana, Syair, M Hotel colleagues and some others. OH AND I THINK AFIQ HAVE BEEN YEARNING FOR AN OUTING TO GEYLANG. Kita try k kita try. Nanti aku try ajak itu dua adik beradik, Alastair, Chacha, Madeeya and sesiapa lagi. Semua yang aku sebut, sedara aku sia Afiq. Hahaha, semua kau dah rapat eh. Bagus!

2011-08-06T00:46:00.003+08:00

I'm not gonna be selfish anymore. I'm gonna fight this shit ass bitch feelings. Go away. I love my boyfriend :')

2011-08-03T03:51:00.003+08:00

I miss him alot.

Hi blog. I've been busy with stuff but even if I'm not, I won't update. Reason being is, I am just lazy. This month is Fasting month. Next month will be, Eid Mubarak. I don't sound excited at all. Maybe because I'm growing older?

2011-07-02T06:54:00.003+08:00

This is Afiq. The little boy is my nephew.

It has been so long since the last update. Annyeonghaseyo! Its 6:54am already, and I am still wide awake.

I have been busy with work and soon, I'm gonna be busy with schoolshits. Oh my God, I pass by 0.3 gpa points. I'm so smart! :/

Anyway, I had my hair highlighted red. Soon, I'm gonna highlight another color, blend it with red. Ooo, can't wait?

Life have been good. Either busy with work, lazying at home or spending time with friends. I'm not ready for school, I really don't feel like going back to school already. Why is it so fast?! I don't wanna go to school. I don't see the point and the need to wake up very early just to go to school. Furthermore, I don't see myself or my studies progressing? I think I am a burden. Alaaa, why is there such things as school?

Saufi already warned me to wake up early and go to school with him :/ AHH LAZY

byebye

2011-06-09T03:58:00.003+08:00

I'm sitting for my exam later at 11 am. Before that, I'm gonna attend my revision class at 10am. I swear, I don't feel like sitting for my exam, especially when I know that I'm gonna flung. Well, obviously I'm still mad at Raymond for having to call my Biological Dad a few times. He is one irritating complain king.

But anyway, I'm not taking any of my contacts for real. I know that, they'll get sick and tired of me one day. Well, I'm counting down to the day they'll walk out on me. No doubt, I'm not taking any guy's words for real, for I'm still in love with the one that I used to be in a deep contact. But I'm slowly getting rid of the feelings for him. I have to :')

take care all

2011-06-02T18:36:00.003+08:00

For this one whole week, I only attend school twice. I've been a bad student, really really bad. Well, I think I am just in no mood for school now, especially when the student in my class gets lesser. Furthermore, I'm lazy to entertain schooooooooooool and teachers.

Oh, I miss someone :/ Too bad, he's happy with his life now. Good for you lor.

I think the lazy song suits me ALOT. I'm fvcking lazy to do anything now.

2011-05-31T10:58:00.005+08:00

You know, sometimes, life is so unfair that I just feel like jumping off from a building. I've been keeping myself busy, to avoid myself from thinking about stressful things. Why can't you people just leave me alone and give me a break. I need some space for myself, let me be free. I don't wanna owe anyone anything. I just want some freedom for myself. Why, everytime when I'm happy or enjoying myself, there would always be one person or thing to destroy it?

Well, I just don't understand. I don't know what I want in life now. I don't even know if I'm lonely or not. Fuck my life so much right now.

On the other hand, I met my two best people yesterday, Udyn and Aini. I feel so sorry for Aini. My dear, don't worry. If they give you too much shit, you just have to shit on them back. You know babe, what goes around comes around. You're gonna be fine, you just need time to clear all these mess. Nevermind, I am just a phonecall away. See you on Sunday afternoon. Much misses.

& Danny Randall. Bay, you're gonna leave me alone in school now. It's like, we're forever not gonna see each other in school starting from today onwards. I can just breakdown anytime. Fcuk, I shouldnt have ditched you aside. I should have spend time in school with you. Like seriously. I don't have the mood for school anymore. I'll miss you in school. Asshole got kicked out :/

2011-05-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

Hariz Hariz Hariz, why do I always smell your perfume everywhere I go? Fuck the past la, I wanna stop thinking abt you already. Cause seriously, it makes no different, nothing can ever comes back. We can never be together, and that's it. Fuck it we're friends

So yeah, I'm done with all these love game. I'm not gonna find anyone or let anyone enter my heart, for now. I'm closing my heart already, I'm serious. I may be contacting a lot of guys, but heck, I told them I'm not gonna take their words for real. Like seriously, I'm sick of getting all the blames or vice versa. I'm sick of all the fights that I need to go thru. Do you realize that, I don't care if you're gonna be mad at me or even gonna sulk because of me? Because I just don't wanna care anymore. Who's gonna take care of my feelings if I'm always busy taking care of others? So, I'm not gonna care. What's gonna happen next, I'll let it happen, and that's it, game over. KEBABOM :/ If you're keen to be my friend, you won't walk out on me, just because I didn't response to your love.

My 18th

2011-05-20T02:44:00.003+08:00

Hi Guy, sorry if you were to view the same old same old thing on my blog. Other than busy, I was really lazy to update my blog.

Well, my 18th was splendid. I celebrated my birthday for three days straight, 13th till 15th. I celebrated on 13th with Fydy, Apek, Afiq and Madeeya. Fydy, you're the sweetest on that day ok? Thank you for the bear and necklace that you bought for me. Thank you for the Sakura treat too. Thank for being patient and tolerating my nonsense all this while. Thank you for controlling yourself and not lay your hands on me from day 1 till now. Thank you for being so kind and caring towards.

On the 14th, I celebrated my birthday with my family. Thanks Mom for the Dkny perfume and make up. Thank you Dad for the one whole set room furnitures, the Nikon pink digital camera and Guess pink watch. Thank you Cik Imah for the spaghetti. Hehe, thank you to all of my cousins for being there. I love you people very much.

On the 15th, I celebrated my day with Nash Junior. Thank you for the movie treat and pizzahut. Thank you for trying to make it a special one actually. You're awesome for smacking my cute puppy face, thank you :) Haha

Thank you Afai for treating to eattttttttttttttttttttttttttt. Your little prince is so damn cutezxc, I feel like kidnapping him, really. Cuter than you of cause. Haha!

Thanks all for the wishes thru anything. Much loves.

2011-05-18T22:30:00.001+08:00

I have a lot of things to talk about but not now.

My birthday was splendid.

Why when I think of you, I've got no confidence for relationships,

2011-05-09T03:06:00.003+08:00

Hi shitface, I miss you a lot but I hate you dumbfvck (':

I'm afraid of another disappointment. Frankly speaking, when I think back of me and him, I just feel like crying. I don't know, but it hurts me like hell, till now. I miss this shitface. Why I call him that? Cause I'm still angry at him, I don't wanna praise him. I wanna throw shit words to him. WHY? For hurting me, for breaking my heart into million pieces. I was in a relationship with another guy after he broke my heart, but does not mean, I forget everything about him. He was never my boyfriend, but he was a part of me when we were in a deep contact. He was the sweetest thing that had happened in my life. He was everything to me. He was all that I ever wanted to be with. He was all that I think, till I even dare to put him first before family. For him I would do anything. HE WAS.

Now, you've changed.

I'm trying to love someone else more than I used to love you, but I still can't. What the fvck did you do to me?

By the way, I'm not longing for his return. I don't wish for him to come back. I've had enough of him, seriously. I just feel so hurt, that's all bye :')

2011-05-08T04:10:00.004+08:00

I seriously had fun with Nash Junior on the 7th May. Thank you for being awesomely awesome on that day. You waited till you sweat all over, I appreciate that. Haha! :/ & On that day, I seriously did test your patience.

On the other note, I'm updating this blog because I wanted to let everyone knows that I am putting these BGR aside for a while. I am more interested in making friends now. Furthermore, these BGR or boys are giving me a hard time, therefore, I'm taking a break. But does not mean, I am giving it up. I'm still finding the perfect one for myself.

My birthday is coming, I don't know if I should be happy or sad. Why happy? Because I'm turning 18, LEGAL AGE. Why sad? Cause the time is too fast already. Can I be forever 18?

Hariz Sidek

2011-05-01T01:34:00.002+08:00

I still remember when I first get to know that my number was being given to you by Esdah. I was really mad, remember? But I gave us the chance to get to know each other since you sounded as if you were really keen to make friends with me. We don't really text until we met, just because I need a companion to sit with me and watch me eat. That was also the day I made friends with three of your friends, Azar, El and his girlfriend. They're friendly unlike you. You don't really talk, remember? You hate how much I look at you because you're just one shy boy. We started to get close, didnt even realize that we already did fall for each other. Then, almost every night we spent talking, cursing, laughing or even nagging thru the phone with each other. Now, we don't have all that anymore. I didn't know that these day would be coming. Trust me, I never wanted to let all of them go. It takes times. You never clap with one hand, really. Only God knows how much I already love you up till now.

I've never wanted to hurt you, I swear. I just can't imagine us together in the future. I am really sorry. I just hope that you'll find the one that would love you the way you wanted her to, even though that's gonna hurt me real bad. I've loved you all this while, but I just kept it inside. I do not know whether you can feel my love towards you or see it, but it's ok. Anyway, I don't even think that I deserve you for I know, I'm only just gonna hurt you, you see. You do not know how hard it is to love someone else. How silly of me, I know :/

Till we meet again, the next time.

One last question: Do you believe in fate? Because if you do, then we'll just hope that fate will bring us together. Insyaallah <3

2011-04-09T08:56:00.003+08:00

Hi, I cannot sleep for some reasons. I feel disturbed, thanks to that person who texted me about someone.

Above was yesterday. Had splendid moments with these peoplezxcxz. Next stop, Karaoke k? <3 Love you people mwah mwah hahahahahah hugs and kisses k bye

2011-04-07T07:23:00.005+08:00

Lastweek was a busy week for me.

I didn't remember the date I went out for work, I went out with friends and family. But whatever it is, I didn't stay at home the whole day, last week.

I went for bowling with my awesome four people. Yes, we really had so much fun. Madeeya is forever hyperactive. The best thing is, we both imagined ourself throwing the ball at the same person. How cool. After which, slacked at Esplanade. Zaman bila nak Esplanade eh? Zaman bapak kau pancung kepala kau. Tempat tempat Singapore tak ada zaman ok lol. Joke Joke. Tak boleh take joke, pergi ngadu kat makkau.

This two days was when we merayap tak tau pergi mana saya lupa sumpah.

Ini pula, we went for Karaoke at Siddiq's house. Hehe, I like to karaoke. Had fun really.

Oh, this was when we had supper after spending our time at Yishun damp.

This was yesterday. We went to grandlink for karaoke with Fydy and Afiq. Nak panggil kau apek, tapi tak biase. Panggil kau Afiq sudah -.- HAHA, MALUUUUUU TAPI MAHUUUUUU :P K, mampus kalau dia dapat baca bye bye.

2011-04-05T07:20:00.003+08:00

For as long as I'm still alive, I'm gonna work hard and find a better love. For as long as I'm still alive, I'm not gonna let any other guy to ruin my future or my life. For as long as I'm still alive, I'm gonna stand up for my rights. For as long as I'm still alive, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to be happy.

I need my smile back. Why must you appear and then bring me down? At least if you change, I wouldn't be this sad or angry.

Thank you so much. It has always been you, yes you. Now fml

Fuck BGR

2011-03-22T03:35:00.002+08:00

Why do I hate the word love is why must they hurt me whenever I'm serious with them and why must I hurt then when they're serious. Why when I've changed to start giving them chances, they let me go or gave me up. Why are they so cruel when I'm being nice and trying to be good?

I have to admit something. I've never move on because I never once give myself a chance to love another guy after you. They love me sincerely, but all I did was to hurt them, break their heart. How cruel? I know.

Now I'm telling you, I am fucking lonely. Yes, fucking lonely. BYE

Busy busy busy

2011-03-21T23:15:00.004+08:00

I'm either busy with family or work. Friends? I've got less time with them. How sad? Nvm, anything just beep ok people. If I didnt answer, I'm sorry. If I didn't call back, means its either I forget or busy. I don't even have time for myself, to pamper myself with new stuffs. OMG, HOW?!

2011-03-15T14:58:00.003+08:00

FML.

I've a little sister, and our faces are slightly the same. I love her, really. I've always wanted her to stay with me, to share everything that I have including my undergarments.

But, I'll have to accept the fact that, I need to pretend that I don't have a sister in the first place and never will.

Do you know how hard it is? You never know because you're not me. You've got your own "little sister" so why should you care about me, am I right?

Boo yaa bye

I wish you all the best in your life

2011-03-10T06:18:00.015+08:00

Well first of all, I would like to make some clarifications here. You don't have to add on the word "freaking" before the word "guys" cause you're exaggerating. Ok, let's put this way. I'm happy if you are really happy with your family, because I am too. I mean, we are too. You said that they shower you with everything that you needed, well just to let you know, my family do the same too. Oh and, if you wanna talk about where were we when you needed us, well you gotta ask your dearest mom that you are proud of. Who was the one who always give us the reason that they wanted to bring you out, they wanted to bring you to out of the country or whatever it is, whenever we wanted to bring you out. Just to let you know, we never mean to make you feel so left out, but your mom did. We always think of you whenever we had or have an outing, just that your mom is always a problem for us. If you wanna talk about my mom who didnt watch you grow, well, you've got to really really think twice before you jump into conclusion by accusing my mom. Firstly, your mom doesn't like seeing my mom being close to you. Secondly, it was all your mom's idea to make you stay with her because firstly, you're under Dad's custody. It was your mom who made my mom to let you be on Dad's custody because her reason was that, Dad is all alone and that she didnt have any kids so she wanna take care of you. Mom was kind enough, remind your mom that. About luxuries and everything that you mention, please don't be such a show off. If I were to rate what you wear and everything, I think I'd give you 5 or below than that. Hello, you're still growing up and you're still learning on how to dress up, you're still using your mom's money to buy this and that. My mom have been showering me with everything, just that I've not been asking her money to buy things after I started working because I know how hard it is to earn cash. Not to forget, my dad, Azlan, pampered me, treat me as her own and buy me things that I want and need. Of cause our dad, Mazlan shower me with love and all whenever we met. I think if I'm living in the same roof with our dad, I'll be the one that he's gonna pamper because among us three, which is you, me and big bro, I'm the one who is close to him. Not to forget, third dad bought a house for us to stay and he let me and big brother have our own room. 2nd mom, which is Aunt Liana also treated me as her own because she never fail to think of me, just that lately I've been busy that I didnt have time for her (I feel sorry though cause she never put me aside but I was the one who mia all of a sudden due to tight schedule). I'm not showing off like you, but I'm trying to tell you that, at least I accept them, and I don't anyhow ditched them. You know what? Dad have been yearning to bring you out, but as always, your mom always give us 101 reasons. I guess, Dad has been wasting his time and breathe all this while. He don't deserve this kind of treatments from you. Who are you? Please look into the mirror and reflect yourself. Please know where you stand. You won't be in this world without my mom and our dad. You came from my mother's vagina but you doesn't want to admit that she is your mom. & For goodness sake, you're my younger sister and a daughter to my mom and our dad. Just to tell you that, I've got no issues with Ayah Hisham because he never did us wrong, unlike your mom k. About the karma you're talking about, I think your mom already had her karma. Who asked her to be so greedy as to take everything that Late Grandmother left for her and our Dad. I think if your mom didn't look down on Dad, he would be a very responsible dad for you. Because your mom is ashamed of him. & Atuk is bias. He didn't treat Dad the same as your mom. I know Late Grandmother love Dad as much as Dad loves her. Do you know that you're such a bitch now? I'm sorry cause I cannot tolerate the criticism, especially when it is regarding about Dad and Mom. It's already obvious that you don't wanna acknowledge us. You don't even wanna admit my mom as your mom. Maybe you misunderstood my mom or our dad, but why me, big brother and my cousins? We didn't do anything wrong towards you. I admit, I've been holding grudges towards your mom for having to separate us, for not giving us the space. Well majority, it's her fault. Please stop trying to make people think that we disowned you. Because I think I've been the one who have been admitting to people who asked about us, that we're siblings. I don't think so you're gonna admit me as your big sister if they don't know anything right? You should be happy/glad at least because I acknowledge you, not giving me or us this kind or treatments. Just so you know, I've never wanted to hate my own aunt, but she forced me to. And please, I'm not jealous of you. Why should I? Come on, we came from the same vagina. Well, as long as you're happy, that will do. I'm not gonna tear your family apart but I'm gonna thank God that at least you're happy but please, ask your mom to stop talking about my mom. She never been a bad Mom to us, but your mom make it sound as if my mom is. Wtf, you're still my biological sister for goodness, so why should I even ruined my own sister's happiness? Please think twice before you type anything. It's your blog, but stop exaggerating that we're so so so much cruel, when the fact is, we're not in the first place. Anyway, there's no need for you to remind us about karma, because you might never know karma will hit you instead :D

Berbual itu, jangan berbual besar. You stay with her all these years, I wonder how come you still can't figure her out (: Because I already did. She doesn't like seeing others having what she doesn't have. You must know something, you can never get married without Dad or Big Brother. You've hurt my mom's heart, you've also hurt mine and Big Brother's.

But anyway, why didn't you continue working at Macd after you got to know that Big Brother's working as a rider there? Bochuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Why do you always have to change number whenever we've got your number? Bochuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Why only you spent the night on the phone with me, when you're staying at Ayah Hisham's house, back then? Bochuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

"I fucking miss you too?" Nak muntah uh little sister.

Now tell me, who's got a problem with who?

tsktsktsksk, Astarghfirullahal a'zim, mengucap k (:

Sebelum apa apa, mari kita sama sama baca Al-fatehah untuk Arwah Nenek Saya. Amin.

Terima Kasih <3

Baca dan fahami

2011-03-06T02:38:00.002+08:00

Taknak kasi harapan dekat sesiapa pun. Taknak sendiri yang sakit hati. Taknak rush lagi. Taknak mengamok dengan orang tak tentu pasal. Taknak jealous sana sini. Taknak kena control. Taknak rasa rimas. Taknak rasa bersalah. Taknak ada teman istimewa. Taknak layan lelaki itu lain daripada yang lain.

Nak bebas. Nak senang hati. Nak happy. Nak enjoy. Nak buat kawan. Nak socialize. Yang paling penting, nak single.

Once dah bosan dengan single life, dah ready to commit, dah jatuh cinta mcm hindustan, dah jumpa yang lain daripada yang lain, dah confident, baru nak stick to one, nak concentrate dengan dia sahaja, nak letak harapan sikit, nak i love you sana sini, nak dengan dia.

K dah bye

Nak feeling feeling skejap

2011-03-04T01:42:00.006+08:00

I miss how things were in the past.

How I was so lonely the first time I stepped into Evergreen Secondary. How I made friends with Atikah first and then Hidayah. How I told Atikah that I wanted Azizi and she wanted Nashrullah or vice versa during our first day of secondary 1 cause they are the two most handsome guy in our class. How we hated the class next door which was Nadhirah, Izzaty, Aini, Syasya and Ain's class. How we started to become really close, the five of us (Me, Atikah, Hidayah, Azizi and Faiz). How we usually had neoprints for almost every school days. How we hated the other school and looked at them so lowly. How we criticized one of Atikah's ex boyfriend's gf because she is so ugly. How we end our day at the library just to waste our time. How we quarreled for stupid thing. How we betrayed each other and didnt want to be friends back. How I quarreled with Hirfanniyah and end up both of us got lectured from Mr Shahril, and cried to each other, hold hands while running to our class just to tell the others that we're back to friends again. How I loved Farid Faiszin so much, Atikah admired Khairi so much and Hidayah had too much of hopes on Zainal in the past. How we all got separated and made friends with our enemies and became close friends. How me, Hidayah and Atikah drifted apart. How I started to be so close to Aini and Nadhirah. How I was so afraid of Izzaty because I heard she was fierce but she isn't at all to me. How I started to be close to Ain. How I made alot of noise by singing to Rahmat. How Nash was infront of me, Nadhirah beside me and Rahmat behind me. How Siddiq bullied me by pinching me! How Danson became my husband. How me, Aini and Nadhirah made birthday surprises for Ain and she ended up crying and telling the boyfriend about it because she said that no one ever done that and it has been so long she didn't celebrate her birthday with a cake. How I looked out for people while Nadhirah and Aini stole something at the shop nearby. How Nadhirah, Aini, and myself created nicknames for each other; a slut a whore and a bitch, just for the fun of it. How the three of us became so close that we even gossiped about our own friends omg! How we had our time dance in my old room and had videos taken. How me and Aini fought real hard and we drifted apart. How we became close again. How we celebrated our countdown with the 521. How we all had our karaoke session at Naim's house. How Nadhirah tried so hard to get rid of I forgot his name and had video taken of burning his photo, was caught by Naim and was being scolded -.- How we love ourselves omg. How we celebrated our national day, met Palito and Ain's boyfriend and friends. How I became so close to Izzaty when we started working at Delifrance. How we became so fatttttttttttt because Kak Nor forced us to eat. How we laugh out loud with Amirah Big bang and Amira E. How the three Amira(s) had little feelings for Azhar. How we became zombies for not having enough rest due to busy days. How we went home as late as 2 because went to eat at Simpang Bedok. How the prom night gets nearer and do not know what to wear. How I bought my prom dress. How me and Nash became prom dates but alas, I dance with Danson! Haha. How Izzaty became Darwin's date. How Nadhirah had no date because she was with Shayiful Eusoff. How we dance all out.

Now that's the end of Secondary school life.

Peace

2011-02-26T02:37:00.003+08:00

I've make peace with Aideel Ali, like finally. We finally talk and joke with each other. I must really thank God for this, really. I just hate fights. I hate the time and effort we took just to bring each other down, just to win. Aideel, about all the pictures, it is really up to you to keep it or not. I won't force you to delete it all. Just so you know, I was just teasing you :P haha! I hope we'll never fight again. Let's maintain this way k ♥

The previous post, let's forget it. I wanna stay single for now. It's better this way haha

2011-02-19T03:58:00.002+08:00

I met A and I like him the minute I saw him. He didn't paid any attention towards me but I did, secretly. As days goes by, we keep in touch. I've tried so hard to get his attention, but failed.

I met B, and I don't like him. He paid too much attention on me, but I didn't. But as days goes by, we get so close. He never fails to make me happy. I've like him since then.

Just recently, A confessed to me that he likes me. B did the same thing too. I'm not gonna decide anything. I'll just wait and see who's gonna leave and who's gonna wait.

The one who's gonna leave, is the one I'm gonna forget. The one who's gonna wait, is the one I'm gonna get serious with.

"The right guy will never leave you"

One more thing, getting to know a lot of guys, does not mean I'm flirting. Who knows, one of them might be the one for me? You might never know. Just one day, I'm gonna get serious with only just One. Maybe not now, but later ..

Nak nangis pun ada, tsk!

2011-02-18T22:23:00.005+08:00

I don't know why, but I'm so sad, disappointed and angry. Someone said he wants to change to someone better. He doesn't want to be what he used to be. He even asked me to believe his words. Then, I found out, he just had his body tattooed with his name. Haikal, aku kecewa dengan kau k. Sumpah tak tipu!

Just now was awesome? I craved for Whipped potato, but I changed the Whipped Potato to Cheese Fries -.- I saw and met a lot of people today. Unexpected k. Tasha, your voice so nice, I like <3

Shafrinaz, I'm so sorry about your leg. Who asked you to be so miang just now? Nenenipupu :P

K bye mood dah hilang balik.

I bet you don't know this

2011-02-15T03:41:00.003+08:00

A girl doesn’t need to tell you straight up how she feels, it’s written all over her eyes. If you can see how she feels without her telling you, then you definitely deserve her heart.

Mukanya sangat fierce

2011-02-13T23:23:00.003+08:00

Ini muka yang nak sepak terajang org k (Garang nya?)

Hi. Just now I saw Syair and I was like, "shit omg I did not go to work and I saw him". Hehe, no la kidding. This guy amazed me cause he waved for a cab when we were about to reach my block -.- We took one round because I was stupid as to give the taxi driver the wrong directions.

My perut tengah kesakitan. Oh my God. I swear I am not in a good mood now. Can I just slam the door, and make sure that everyone will be awake by the loud sound? Ala, perut sakit lagi -.- Nak maki orang up, down, left, right, in and out.

Anyway, I did something to my hair. I used hair dryer to make it straight, because I cannot stand my ROSAK permed hair.

K bye nak snap gambar banyak banyak. Puas hati.

Mana nak dapat?

2011-02-13T06:48:00.004+08:00

I'm going to sleep now. I hope I'll be dreaming of something good. The other day, I dreamt of hugging someone real tight and that, I told him the truth while crying. Omg, this can't be happening? o.O

Before that, BE JEALOUS! I took a photo with Teuku Wisnu when I was working :P hehehehehehe bye

Sometimes I just wonder why it has always been like this

2011-02-11T23:20:00.006+08:00

I don't know why, but I just can't trust guys 100%. I'm sorry. Please work harder to gain my trust IF you want. If not, "shhh noisy" (:

Everyday is always the same routine. I'm always late. Looks like, I'm gonna be kick out from school, soon. I didn't attend morning lessons for this one whole week. I'm dead dead dead :/

So, just now was awesome? K no. I'm fucking tired actually. After school, I thought of meeting Hariz, but I changed my mind. So, I went to meet Saufi and Bone instead. Actually, the plan to meet Saufi was canceled cause I was tired, so I called Frinaz up, to hurry up as she wanted to eat. It was by luck, Saufi and Bone were on their way to Bone's house and they saw me, waiting for Frinaz so they accompanied me. Whatever it is, we had so much fun with the rain, right Frinaz, Azmi, Shahrul and Nas? -.- I hope I won't be sick tomorrow, cause I'm working.

Happy Advance 18th Birthday to Aini Babyg Tangkis <3 I miss you real bad, we must meet soon!

Hi.

2011-02-06T03:50:00.005+08:00

From strangers, to friends, to enemies, to friends, to bestfriends, to relationship and last but not least, to enemies. Let's not drag the matter k. I'm tired of people telling me things about you, holding grudges towards me. I may not remember what I just did to you till you had to cross the lines. Maybe I was just too angry at you for getting all that attention from my own family back then when we just broke up, that I became too evil towards you, and I just didnt realize it. Whatever it is, I am sorry. & One more thing, Money cannot buy love & happiness. Thank you.

If you still don't wanna accept my apology, there's nothing else I can do. I really don't wanna drag this matter anymore, cause I swear, I cannot take this. I'm sorry. We'll meet soon when I'm free, and you can vent out everything at me. After that, that's it k because we have got nothing to do with each other anymore. (Siddiq, really did knocked some senses on my head abt our religion)

Time checked at 3:50am, and I'm still awake. I'm heading to bed very soon. I look like a workaholic bitch whenever people asked me out, but sorry, I am always late for work, lol. Orchard Parade Hotel kan Mazlan yang pegang -.-

I was right about having no stress at work. Hakim and his jokes really did turn me on! I mean, times was running too fast for me. After work, I went to meet my dearest Nadhirah! Omg, I fucking miss her, actually. We catched up a few important things about our life. Aini, next is your turn. Let's imagine ourselves throwing durians at those who bring us down k. Can't wait. Your birthday is coming, eighteen soon!

K I wanna sleep bye

Tough decision

2011-02-05T00:56:00.003+08:00

Another decision I have to make. This is hard, really. How?

At home the whole day. My handphone senyap satu hari, tidak mengapa. Anyway, it is indeed very hard to settle things with people who always think that they're always right yeah. Y'know what guys, I'm tired of having all this stupid conflicts. I've explained myself. I need yours too. If you need to meet me up, feel free to come over my house.

Never let emotions take control of you.

Money can't buy love and happiness, get that in mind.

Fuck you fucked up exboyfriend/exbestfriend

2011-02-04T07:42:00.009+08:00

Please stop using other people's account just to stalk me. Please admit that you just did stalked me ok because if you dont, then you wouldn't go around using other people's account without them realizing just to stalk my profile and bitch about me with their accounts. Have you got any balls? Please stop having this horny mindset whereby I wanna suck your dick just because I just did mentioned about your balls k. You said that I'm immature? Look who's talking bitch. You're the immature one because you're always the fire starter. Since it has got to do with me, then I'll play along with your game. Please have some manners. If you think that my Mom, Frinaz or whoever it is, are siding you now, please stop it k. My Mom doesnt like you showing off your money and looking down upon me, because she feel the pinch too as I am her daughter. Frinaz doesnt like you for being sarcastic and for minding her status on fb. She doesnt like your fuck-ed up attitude, you always think you're always right. She was the one who told me about your status, "Aku ada duit punya laki, perempuan mcm kau tak setaraf aku". Sungguh biadap? Please stop trying so hard to make me loose my friends and my cousin. I know what are you up to k. Please stop being childish k. Don't call my mom Mama/Ibu, you don't have the rights anyway. You're not even part of my family. Even if you and Madeeya, are in a relationship, sampai mati pun, I won't declare you as one.

I wanted to let go of the issues that I have with you, but because you've crossed the line by saying that you have money, and that I'm not up to your standard, then I think I'll have to stand up. Hello, since when I go for your fucking money? Have you ever bought me things? Have I ever asked anything from you? NO. Instead, my mom was the one who forked out her money on your fucking birthday. My God, please think first k. If I ever wanted to go for your money, I wouldnt fucking leave you. I'm not as cheap as that ok. Muka saya bukan muka tembok k. I don't even think that you really love me back then. Because if you do, you wouldnt be acting like a bitch now. Just for your info, we broke off because there's nothing we can do to make our relationship works. Which part of the sentence you don't fucking understand? Our relationship problems have got nothing to with any outsiders, back then k! So please stop having this mindset that I really wanna bustard you la bitch. I was just confused with my own feelings. I didnt even plan to bustard you! YOU SHOULD KNOW RIGHT, because even before we were in a relationship, I've shared a lot of things with you. I remembered you asking me to give it a try, give you the chance. I've given it a try, and you're like this? NICE.

The way you are now, is like you're forcing me to be with you. Even my mom said so. Tak suka dipaksa kay? I don't even look at your kind of guy. Omg, I just can't believe that I have an ex like you? So childish k perangai. You're the worst of the worst people I've ever met, I swear. Ok peace

You never know me. Bestfriends? Suck that because we're never bestfriends eversince the criticism of yours towards me started.

We cousins don't like you minding our business, so stop checking on us, or our status. Your fb, you wanna be sarcastic on your wall? Go on k. Just please mind your words. Pergi la kau ss. Stop trying so hard to make me and Madeeya hate each other. Walau apa pun, kita tetap sedara. Kau dengan kita, tidak ada apa-apa perhubungan k.

I've got nothing against your G-notos friends. I just dont want you to use their accounts to check on me again and again. Rahmat, aku masih tetap pandang kau as kawan, tapi aku taknak pasal dia, kita bermusuh. Aku akan blocked account kau until dia sudah belajar untuk hormat account kawan dia k. I've got nothing against you Rahmat, aku syg kau.

Happy Birthday Hariz Sidek.

2011-02-04T02:34:00.000+08:00

The only one who calls me Sweetass for I d k what's his reason, today is his birthday. Saye nak step sweet la, kononnye nak post something untuk die kat blog, but I don't need to cause I've texted him, haha. Be good, remember <3

Other than his birthday, I've got nothing else to update about. Oh wait, bye haha k.

Farhan's 19th birthday

2011-01-29T23:49:00.001+08:00

Hello I just came back from a friend's (the guy in red kotakotak kemaja) birthday party. The minute we reached the place, we ate -.- Birthday song was at 8pm, and then we went off for pool with the birthday boy. I swear I had a lot of fun with Azmi. We won Fathir and Faiz! Also, I had fun being the camera woman haha!

So Farhan, Happy 19th Birthday to you. Be good to your parents hor <3

Also, I would like to thank Azmi for having to treat me like a princess, well not really. I mean, for having to treat me hehe. I would like to thank Black and Fedah, for being my listening ears. Black, your advices really mean alot to me. I get you Black, I get you, I really do. Let's just hope that things will be just fine, Amin <3

I'm tired cause I didnt get enough sleep. I slept at 4:30am, and woke up at 6am just now. Had to work just now, and earn some cash for myself. I got both of my leg's ankles injured how sad Goodnights

Fuck up time table

2011-01-27T23:49:00.004+08:00

I know schooling is good, but by giving us the most fuck-up time table is really not funny. School starts at 8am and ends at 5:30pm for almost everyday? I cannot take it anymore seriously. Raymond is a nice teacher but at times, he deserves our fuck up attitude. We're already stress about some others stuffs, and there you are, making us doing the jobsheet, make us rush, make us stress and etc.

I've been slacking at skatepark and I wonder why I came down despite of my tight schedule. You know, I'll always have this habit of getting all fed up after school. During school = stress. After school = more stress! Skatepark brightens up my day after school, I guess. I mean, I cannot stop smiling when I am with the skaters down there. Maybe they're just awesome people *thumbs up*

You know what, I think I'll hide all my feelings. I'll just smile and pretend that everything is ok. Let's not make people worry k Filiana. Make everyone happy. I just wonder why am I being too sensitive every now and then?

Wait I just can't pretend. I just feel that I m standing on my own, like seriously on my own

"101 lies men tell women and why woman believe them?"

2011-01-25T22:50:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, I wasn't in a good mood. I'm sorry if I did vent out my anger to anyone. I was just a little mad at Hariz for some stupid reason. I know k I know. Well at least I have let it out. Thanks Black, Azmi and Madeeya (my superb cousin hehe).

I just saw a naked girl. She was inside her room when she was naked. Omg, shameless? Tsktsk, girls please behave ok. Please respect yourself if you want others to respect you ok?

Ok, I wanna share something.

For most women hope and trust dictate that when a man says, "I love you," he means it. And sometimes he does. But, unfortunately, as too many women have learned, "I love you," can often be the Biggest Lie of all. Let's consider these three look-alike lies.

- A hook (To pull you closer in and keep you there)

"I knew I loved you from the moment you walked through the door."

- A mask (To cover what he's really thinking or feeling)

"I love you."

-An evasion (To shroud his actions so he can do whateer he wants free of your scrutiny)

"You know I still love you."

Now, girls, let's think, these guys have feelings too, don't they? There have to be feelings, they just don't talk about them. What they feel strongly, they don't tell. To avoid an argument so they would rather lie.

"He didnt want to hurt my feelings. He thought I'd get angry. He didn't want to get chewed out. I'm not sure if he was protecting me or himself."

If you think I'm flirting please stop k

2011-01-22T23:07:00.005+08:00

You know, you don't have to wonder why I'm choosing this kind of life. I mean, so what if I'm the only girl, and they are all boys? Not as if, I'm giving my dignity away right? Come on, they are all my friends, and having to get to know their friends, does not mean I'm flirting okay? They said that, "Your friends are my friends too since you're my friend." And if you wanna know, I have someone in mind, despite having a lot of guy friends or getting to know them. It's healthy to make more friends. I won't change that.

I don't have girlfriends in school because I am not ready to put my trust on them yet. I'm learning to cause I'm starting to be close with one of my classmate, which is a malay girl. She's a nice person, but sadly, I've not yet put my trust on her. Sad things happened to me before so I changed my mindset about having to put my trust on especially girls. Don't get me wrong, I don't ditched my girlfriends. Even if I don't have any girlfriends, I still do have my cousins hehe

I don't want to talk about whether my life is good or bad cause it bores me and you *yawns*. You know I can't stop laughing thinking about how my past were back then when I started to slack at Yew Tee. I don't know if they still remembers me, Shasha and Madeeya. I'm sweet cause I still remembers some of them, especially Alep and Haikal. Okay taknak continue kalau tidak boleh ketawa

Sekarang saya nak msg Saufi, so saya nak ditch computer saya ke adik saya. Byebye

Padahal prepaid dah lowczxcxzszxzs

I've changed, OH WHY?!

2011-01-16T01:46:00.005+08:00

If anyone ever said that he/she loves or misses you when you guys don't know each other for long, it means they're making use of you. You know when love come so easily, it will go so easily too. If that happens to you, you'll only get yourself hurt. That's unhealthy right?

If anyone never confess their feelings towards you, but you know that you're in love with each other, then that's love. But why do you go the hard way, playing hard to get? But by playing hard to get, you will know how to appreciate the word love. Isn't it healthy?

Fuck all this love shit thing, they don't last long,be it playing hard to get or easy to get! People will throw words at you when you're playing easy to get. But when you're playing hard to get, you hurt yourself. Why love is giving me a hard time?

Saya nak nangis, sumpah tak boleh take it. I'm so meannnnnnnnn :( I can never be happy. Because why? I'm an asshole bye

I've treated everything wrongly. WHY!

One week sick is not cool!

2011-01-09T02:33:00.003+08:00

Last Saturday I think, I went to eat durian, cause I've been craving for that. The next day, which was last Sunday, I felt uncomfortable. My body temperature started to increase so I decided to take my temperature and it was 39 degree.

The next day was Monday, I had work. I thought I should be fine if I work but I started to feel so cold and I couldn't even concentrate. One of my colleague, Ella, asked me to rest and if she needs help, she would call me. I was resting until Joe, my manager, appeared. I had to do what I ought to. I thought Joe would scold me for my actions, but he felt my forehead and asked me to go home early instead. I went to the locker room and took a nap cause I was really really sick. An Aunty came in and gave me two panadols and asked me to go home as soon as possible. I got myself changed and then went home immediately. I swear, I was feeling good.

I was sick for the whole one week. I hope Elfee wouldn't mind working alone. Now, I'm having flu (Running nose and Cough). I wanna recover as soon as possible. I cannot take this anymore, cause it is so annoying. I had to cough real hard, y'know. I swear sick is totally sick! Nevertheless, I know I'll be back to normal once I'm fully recover.

I wanna thank Saufi, Shasha, Khairul Hafiz, Hakim, Hariz Sidek, Mimi, Madeeya, Wallace, Amirul White, Re'ef and some others that I forgot to mention, for their concern towards me. Special thanks to Saufi for asking me to take my medicine and go seek doctor without fail, which I did not up till now. Special thanks to Shasha for being for so caring when I was sick. Special thanks to Khairul Hafiz for your double concern. These people are love ♥

S c a p e.

2011-01-02T00:14:00.003+08:00

I had fun on Countdown ^^ Let's party again jomxzxszxzxsczx! More pictures on fb bye.

Look into my eyes, do you really think I'm this happy?

2010-12-27T01:22:00.007+08:00

Wait for my next update, which is Countdown! So far so good, I'm doing fine. I've quit working at M Hotel for some bloody shit ass reason. Oh well, I had an argument with the Service Captain there, two of them. Don't give a fcuk about it, cause I'm still alive! Now, I'm working at Orchard Parade Hotel. I swear, the people down there are great! But I'll have to admit that I get bored very easily because most of the time, I stare into spaces and do nothing.

So, I've been working and also enjoying myself this holiday. I hope this will not end but too bad, cause I'll have to force myself to school next year -.- I swear, this is very very hard.

Okay anyway, I went to Snow City with Dad and the three musketeers. I swear, it was fun! I'm going there for another round, I swear! Of cause it will be with friends, pretty please? It's only $16! Don't be stingy, this is for your own good okay! Haha ^^

Just recently, I went out with family. We went to Vivo City! I spent over hundred for Countdown. I bought myself a jeans because I thought I'm gonna wear that. I bought myself "I don't what that's called" for Sentosa, IF I'm celebrating my Countdown there. Also, I bought another "I don't whats that called" for Scape, IF I'm celebrating my countdown there too. But the outfit for Scape, I can wear it everywhere, even for Clubs.

There's a reason why I really am looking forward for countdown, why I wanna stay out all night long, why I wanna have fun. I don't care about what others wanna say, but I am so looking forward for Countdown, thank you.

I'm sorry for the excitement, Goodnights love.

2010-12-07T15:15:00.005+08:00

Since I've got a lot of quality time and since facebook is giving me shits, I shall update my dusty blog, yes no?

I've been working at M hotel and for goodness sake, my schedule is really really tight. I did not neglect my friends neither do I change to a one "sombong girl". I was just really really busy that I had to go home straight after school, even when I'm not working. I was really tired I need to rest. Yes, you guys can see that I went out with my colleagues, cause it has been planned. We can go out too if you wants to, I won't say no, in fact I'll say yes immediately and excitedly. I've been yearning to go out with my own classmates y'know. I won't be talking/laughing with you guys if I wanna ignore you guys seriously. If the reason is because I am always with the guy I am contacting now, you guys are wrong. We don't always meet. We meet if we work at the same day and time, and if we're going to school or going back home at the same time. My type of person is, I'll take all the chances I have, just to be with the guy I am contacting. You guys don't know me that well, easy said (: Anyway, I am sorry. I'll try to make time for you guys yeah, no worries :)

Why do I work? Because I need to earn money for my own. I'm using my own earnings for school ok. I need to be independent now. I know I've been a bad girl, as to go home late whenever I went out but that's common yeah. Also, I'm saving money for my own room. I'm buying furniture for myself now since parents had forked out a lot of money just to buy that fucking house. I'm moving house very very soon, maybe in three - four weeks time. My God. I'll miss Woodlands Dr14 very soon but at the same time, I want to get everything done as soon as possible. Amin.

Exams in a week's time!

2010-12-01T19:34:00.003+08:00

Everything has been solved and I hope there will be no more troubles. I want peace not war okay. Anyway, I've been thinking, on whether to give Sentosa a miss or give it a go. It is this Friday babe! But I'm still not sure, omg 0.O

Mr Raymond pester me to sit for my test, which I don't think it can help my GPA. I know my GPA will drop. Exam in a week's time. I've not yet prepare myself. HOW? Kill myself.

The above picture is me and Aini. We went out recently (:

Friends forget each other; friends back-stab one another, I don't wanna say much really :/

Let me find my own happiness peacefully.

2010-11-23T17:36:00.005+08:00

Just so you know, I am still finding the one whom can make me forget that one. Nothing wrong with me contacting with some other guys. Furthermore, I'm single.

If you do have problems with him, come find me. Do whatever you want with me, not him. I did you wrong not him. I'm not being too defensive but I have to do what I need to do. Say whatever you want, peace.

I am sorry

2010-11-19T11:54:00.003+08:00

"I ain't your lover, I'm just your keeper," he said.

You were really good to me when we were together back then. I was really proud to have you as my boyfriend because I know no one can ever be like you. I was the one who did you wrong in the first place, or else things won't go this way. I accepted you cause I thought that I love you more than a bestfriend and because you're somehow close to my family. Never thought that I only love you as a bestfriend and not more than that. People said that we are better off bestfriend, and I did the right thing as to let you go. I don't wanna hurt your feelings anymore, neither do I want to confuse myself even more. It is just too hard to get him of my mind, I am sorry for being such a bad girlfriend to you back then. You've found the answers to your questions. You can get someone who is thrice better than me. Maybe I've changed you, but another girl can love you more than she loves herself. I ain't that girl you're looking for, I'm sorry.

It's better if we just let it go, there's no point. I just cant go on anymore.

I am sorry if I blame you for the arguments that I had with my mom. I was just angry at the situation. Why didnt she understand my situation? Why must she add on? I am not trying to be rude. I just find the need for me to stand up for my rights. We broke off because I just can't go on lying to you, people and myself. Which part of the sentence that she do not understand? I know that she wants me to be happy, but let me choose my own partner. This is about my happiness. If she can guarantee that I'll be happy, I won't stop her. She can't even answer that, then how am I suppose to let her?

I don't care what people have to say about me. I know what I am doing, I don't need them to tell me what I should do. I don't have the power to stop them from talking shits. Whatever it is, I'm all ready for the worst. Anyway, people will stop once they're tired right? This is also life, what do you expect?

I'll update once I'm not lazy.

2010-11-12T13:21:00.003+08:00

Atlast I'm not lazy and busy.

It has been so damn fucking long I didnt get to see my secondary school friends and guess what?! I met Nad and Izzaty on Monday. We chilled at Civic garden and had some photo taken after our dinner at Mcdonalds. I miss them but I was feeling awkward that very moment, but still I made it. I mean, we're still the same but different. If you know what I mean, haha. Then the very next day, I went to chilled at Rp with Ain, Siddiq, Rahmat, Azizi, Darwin and Sharul. Omg, I miss them! Oh and on that particular day, saw Rafi, Rais and Hakim. Again, it has been so long I didn't slack with these three and some of their friends. Damn it, can I go back to my past so that I can still have all of them?

Yeay, on the 27th, I will be going out with my girls. Omg, it has been so long I didnt say "MY GIRLS". It's true even if its lame. Just shut up and read. I will also plan an outing with Syair. Hello Mr, it has been so long didnt see you. Must have a 1 to 1 outing yah!

See, I will still find them. How can I ignore them? I miss them, omg!

Oh ya, Siva bought a pair of Vans shoes that was choosen by me. It's nice you know. Only gentlemen can wear that seriously cause it suit them. Udyn oh udyn, I will soon get your present. Haha, been so long already :/

Oh and today is my Mama's birthday. I bought for her a butterfly lace top from Mphosis. Chacha bought a cake and then we surprise her at 12am. Mom love the butterfly lace top but its big for her, therefore Cik Imah took it. On Monday, I'll get the same one for Mom ♥

Okay bye.

Kepo kepo baca kay, lepas tu spread around atau sindih.

2010-10-27T13:40:00.005+08:00

Baby: Ayah sleep, down here. (Which means dalam kubur)

I wonder if she really understand the sentence, "Ayah no more".

To Aunty Lisa, Kimie, Lulu and Baby, be strong. Just remember that Allah loves him (Uncle Mansur) more. Al- Fateha, Amin.

Omg, you rock \m/ Wahai manusia bertopeng setan, jangan ganggu aku okay?

I wanna leave Satio for a new phone. Okay thanks ^^ Wait, please Ayah? Hehe

Don't waste your life, you won't know when you'll gonna face death.

2010-10-20T12:32:00.004+08:00

I'm sorry for this dusty blog. A busy woman don't always have time for blogs. Sadly, I'm one of them. Holidays stop and school starts, cool shit? NO. But never mind that, cause I have awesome people in school and I like that very much. Don't wish to waste anymore time therefore I'm gonna start talking about my interesting life, NO?

You guys need to really catch up. I shall not story tell about how my life were days ago cause I don't think so you guys need to know, yes? You guys ain't busy body right? So, keep it that way ^.^

Oh recently, met Udyn by accident, and we updated each other about our daily life. I'll buy you your present one day, not now, but soon I think. I'm busy. Busy with Aideel, you said it. Haha, kidding.

I've been spending all my time with Aideel, and I bet he don't realize that cause my friends do -.- He said I love my friends more than I love him, true. I cannot deny that fact though. But that doesnt mean, bitches can go around him and then steal him from me. I'll be crazy.

Uhm, that's all I think?

i love my people.

2010-10-06T20:25:00.009+08:00

Birthday boy on 2nd October, Danny Sheck, Happy birthdayyyy.

2nd favourite boy, Mimi ^^

This was when we had chalet on the 1st and 2nd of October. I wish we will be having Chalet for the next holiday. They never fail to make me laugh, I love being with them. I can't wait for school to reopen cause I can get to see them, everyday except for Saturdays and Sundays.

haha, my 1st favourite boy.

Since Mimi had asked me to upload the photos of us celebrating Eid Mubarak together with the rest of our fellow classmates, I would like to upload some here.

Enjoy your life to the fullest when you're young now.

On Ayden Matin's 1st birthday.

2010-09-29T12:51:00.007+08:00

i won't be updating that often for now. firstly, i've shifted to my aunt's house which is just nearby to my previous house. secondly, i'll be busy with something else, uhm school maybe? better that way. and i won't be active on facebook anymore. anything just text/call me yeah.

i've been dreaming of people that i don't hang out with. why? :/

okay, chalet is on 1st & 2nd october, i so can't wait! ^^ i wanna bring my cousins but they are having exams, shit.

blog = boring = bye :/

2010-09-21T15:59:00.002+08:00

I'll only update a proper post with the pictures that I would like to share :) Okay byeeeeeee.

Much misses.

2010-09-15T23:55:00.000+08:00

r

The people I miss having a moment with them, every single one of them. Will soon text you people for outings, but not now cause my schedule is pack with packing stuffs (moving house), upcoming phase test etc.

Anyway, not all faces are in. Cause some of them, I've never took a photo of them or with them. You should know who you are. JANGAN STEP JUAL MAHAL KAT SINI, MENYAMPAH! -.-

IN A RANDOM ORDER.

2010-09-14T12:07:00.005+08:00

I need to pack my stuffs cause I'm shifting to my aunt's house soon. Around December, I'm moving to my new house, which is at Admiralty, cool? NO. I'm not yet sick and tired of my room and my house, but no choice?

Oh and yeah, I had fun yesterday with Deeya Zeelee, Sham Shuko Zeelee, Alastair Anthony, Nika Sya, Bestfriend and Siti Nadhirah. Home-d at 12 going to 1am. I swear it was paid off. I don't regret a thing.

Fucking bitch cousin Alastair, always irritate me on how I update my blog. He was trying to label me as Love Sick, EMOTIONAL girl. Fuck you ok, cause I'm not affected with the word Love at all. Saye sudah chill, sudah malas. It's true that I'm still not over Khairul Hisham, but I'm talking less about him now.

And if anyone happen to read my blog, and you happen to know anyone of them, please don't be such an ass. Mind your own bisness. Ok bye!

Hari har hari hari hari rayaaaaaaaaaaaaa ^^

2010-09-12T23:44:00.005+08:00

Mom's side. Still incomplete.

Family saya.

My aunt, My step mom, my step sister & myself.

My cousin, my mom, my two step sisters, my little brother & myself.

I just put down the phone with Sham Shuko. & Since I'm not busy, like what he said earlier, I shall update my dusty blog yeah. But beforehand, to those who don't really like me, or hate me, or against me, I appreciate it if you just click on the red button. Because if you still read my blog, means, you're stalking me! ^^

My first three days straight of Raya = fun = $_$ Hahah. First days was red in colour. Second day was green. Third day was grey/white/black. My pink colour baju raya still fresh. I'm gonna wear it soon.

I seriously don't know what to update. Oh ya, I think ppl have been wondering about my status. I make this clear, I'm single. Up to you ppl to think that I'm lying or not. My status have got nothing to do with your life, true? Whether I'm single or not, it don't concern you. People who thinks that I'm attached and end up not wanting to be friends with me, with the reason of, "I'm afraid that your boyfriend might not like it", go to hell ok. Because in the first place, if you really want to make friends, the status of a person don't really matter. ^^

It's good to keep certain things to yourself. Maybe one or two should know about it, but not everyone. I've learnt my lesson, and that is, not to be so happy/proud/too excited about something. Oh, and I'm still unsure about that certain things so why bother telling. Still wondering, but nevermind. This way is better. ^^

Okay bye!

Finally I'm updating.

2010-09-07T23:07:00.003+08:00

I know that some of you might be waiting for me to update my blog. I'm sorry cause I'm just lazy to do so :/

The other day, went out with Syair Muhd. From town area to geylang to town area. He got what he wanted so much and I'm seriously happy for him. I had fun with him even though we're both tired after one whole day of walking. Syair Muhd, we should have another day of singing with stupid hand actions and laughing session agan. Thanks for the treat ♥

I don't remember of any other days I went out, but I do remember what had happenned today. I was late yet again for school, and I think Class Advisor gave up on me already. Too bad, cause I seriously don't give a shit about it anymore, you're irritating sorry. Classmates are the best. For the last lesson, we played hide and seek with Class Advisor whereby everyone hide themselve and let the room look empty and dark. Naz and Sharul are two irritating people just now, cause they scare me off till I had to scream for 2 times. -.-

Okay after school, met Bestfriend, Rahmat, Siddiq and Nash for pool. Sadly, I'll have to change to home clothes. After changing, went back there for pool. Had fun. ^^

The above song, listen and understand the lyrics. That's my situation right now. I don't wanna elaborate much. I'm tired of letting out all of my feelings here. Better to keep it to myself. Thanks.

The twenty second day of fasting.

2010-09-01T23:59:00.003+08:00

I'LL UPDATE ONCE I'M FREE. ANW, PPD SAYE LOW :/ This was one of the pictures I took just not with Bella. Okay bye! ^^

The twenty-one day of fasting.

2010-08-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

For some reasons, I love today. Because I got to step into Evergreen Secondary School. I don't know why, but when I saw Ika, we both shouted and hugged each other. I guess, I only realized how much I miss her, when I saw her just now. Then, had a private conversation with Ali, the one I used to label as my scandal (Only label but we don't really act as one eh!) Cause I used to be close to Ali, and I miss this Ali alot. Hugged Nad and Izzaty too! Had some conversation with Kak Risya and Rahmat, was really excited.

Took mc with Bestfriend. Had our dinner with Bella, Wan, Ibrahim & Gf, Din & Gf and Yassin at Banquet.

Sorry Nad & Ika for not tagging along. I'm lazy to go geylang today. If you guys wanna go tomorrow, I will tag along. But I know, you guys wont be going since you guys changed it to today.

The twenty day of fasting.

2010-08-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

Today is my SWAY DAY. MALUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Don't wish to elaborateeeee. Memalukan.

Bestfriend & Madeeya fetched me from school. & Then, Bestfriend went home with his friends while me and Madeeya met Aunty Liana, Gegerl and Little brother Haziq. We went to Jurong Point to buy heels for Hari Raya. I love mine, seriously. Thank you Aunty Liana, love you ^^

Then Madeeya went to Geylang. Me, Aunty Liana, Gegerl and Little brother Haziq went to Lot 1 and then, myself and Gegerl bought another pair of heels. Both of my heels can be use even without wearing Baju melayu. I sukeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Went home and saw Syair. I was already tired by then. Tsktsk.

The nineteen day of fasting.

2010-08-29T23:54:00.001+08:00

Had a lot of dishes on the table. I had fun overall. Pictures will be upload as soon as possible.

This year, I'm gonna wear red with family. & Aunty Liana bought for me a pink baju melayu.

Tmr school, bye bye!

The eighteen day of fasting.

2010-08-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

I cannot fast for a week for a reason, girl's issue :/ But just now, I didnt munched anything else except for only Potato chips when I was at the hair salon. Lol.

I dislike the way he said how big the curl is, and then end up, SMALL curls. I almost cried when he trimmed my hair. I went back to the hair salon and then had some small arguments with him. I actually wanted to close an eye cause I was kinda close to him, but cousins end up debating with him, especially Madeeya. I had nothing to say, but listen and smile throughout their conversations. But, I don't mean to upset him. He did some adjustment and then he showed me how to style it up. I'll try to get used to it. Thank you <3 Saya sudah serik permed rambut saya. Ini sudah kedua kali saya kecewa. Haha :/

Belah ayam belah itik, I belah pun cantik ^^

The seventeen day of fasting.

2010-08-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

Only they know how excited and happy I am to have them today even though I'm the only girl, I don't feel left out at all. I love my primary school people so much! Aini, I hope you feel this too, cause your name was mentioned alot of times, and your ring tagged along ^^

The sixteen day of fasting.

2010-08-26T23:59:00.003+08:00

My Nephew, Ayden Matin <3

Hello readers! I'm sorry for the late update (who cares anyway?). Uhm, so today, I was late for break fasting. I wasn't feeling hungry, that's why. Had Wantan Noodle, cooked by Cik Linda. I've been having MEE for break fast, I think I'm gonna loose all my hair soon ^^

I'm happy today. I shall not share why. Ask me why, then I tell you. Lokek happiness :/

The fifteen day of fasting.

2010-08-25T23:44:00.009+08:00

Mama saya (:

Break fasting at Lerk Thai (i think so that's the name) which is at Civic Centre with Mom, Lil & Big brother. My stomach is still full now, seriously. After which, went to meet Syair Muhd at Bns.

Afterwhich, took train to Toa Pa Yoh & saw Hakim's big brother Taufiq. Aha, he looked different and I couldn't recognise him until Syair told me he is Hakim's brother. Lol, hie (Uhm?).

After buying the book that Syair wanted to buy, bought Waffle for myself but didnt get to finish it. Oh, we saw a high buildings and there is a rooftop, so we went there to explore and slack at the same time. Nice view, seriously. We talked non-stop, went home when we're done talking.

Reached home almost at 11pm (:

Random:
Syair feels likes strangling me, and I feel like punching him, which one is more violent?
Bestfriend asked me if I've bath or not at this time? Kau gile Aideel, kau gile. Haha!
Zainuddin label me as Panda for having to sleep late every night, aha! & He's the zookeeper for taking care of me.

Last last, saya nak rebond rambut. Mama kata boleh, provided, Ayah kasi duit! ^^ Hehe.

Lol, bye ^^

The fourteen day of fasting.

2010-08-24T23:03:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Syasya, Love you ^^

Had Spaghetti for break fasting. Uhm, I was shocked to see Nass at Frinaz's block. Good thing he still remembers me, ^^

Today I irritated Anddy Hisham, and I feel so happy about it :/ I'm kidding, joke -_-

Oh and Syair texted me! I was excited you know.

Okay bye !

The thirteen day of fasting.

2010-08-23T23:52:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday little irritating brother Fareez Aiman, i love you.

I was supposed to go out with Mamat Zharif my ex-colleagues but canceled the plan due to celebrating little brother's birthday. I don't wish to be labeled as 'pentingkan kawan daripade keluarge'. & I love my brother, therefore I shouldnt give it a missed. Oh, my brother got an Iphone 4 as a birthday present from Dad. I'm jealous, cause he can still use Internet when he's not at home. I can only use Internet using Wi-fi! Hehe :/

Afterwhich, went to Geylang.

The twelve day of fasting.

2010-08-22T23:20:00.003+08:00

Had Mee Soto for break fasting. Delicious but too hot :/ Ok bye.

I miss a lot of people, but I'm not gonna find people. Sorry, I'm tired of chasing people. Try so hard yeah people, sorry.

Anyway, my little irritating brother Fareez Aiman's birthday is tomorrow ^^

The eleventh day of fasting.

2010-08-21T23:48:00.000+08:00

Break fast at Cik Imah house, and this time round had rice with Ayam masak merah. Oh, I fell asleep after I made my nephew Elfie Ashari asleep. I woke up due to the noise pollution by my Mom who was shouting while watching horror movie with the rest of the family members. After that, went to Geylang for dengdeng at about 12am with family and Frinaz.

My patience have its limits, ty. Don't test me.

The tenth day of fasting.

2010-08-20T23:45:00.006+08:00

Hello ♥ I had Kacang Pool for break fasting and I had 2 rounds of it, lol :/ Heh, sorry love(s) I wasn't myself cause I wasn't in the mood. Love(s) can be referring to anyone, not one but many who were affected. Hehe ^^ I= Ugly when I'm not in a good spirit. Thank Godzxzczxczx that Frinaz was there. Or else I wouldn't know who else I should turn to ?

Finally, Syair texted me after so longzczxczxczxcx. Well, he is sick. Get well soon. Anything, I am just a phone call away ♥♥

This month is hungry ghost, fasting and not to forget, SICK MONTH. My little brother Fareez Aiman was sick too. My cousin Nana is sick now. My little cousin baby is sick too. My little nephew(s) just got well. Oh dear :/

The ninth day of fasting.

2010-08-19T23:38:00.000+08:00

Ain sayang! Happy birthday to you. Thank God I remember your birthday. I called you at 12am going to 1am right? Gosh, I miss you. We should catch up with each other some time. I hope you had a great day with your Boyfriend ^^ Sayang kau.

Break fast @ home. Nasi Goreng Kampung = Average :/ Bought it at Vista Point, did not finish it. O.o

Anyway, yesterday, had short conversation with Udyn Cine Cullen ( Dean Cullen Cine -____- ). He asked if tomorrow free cause himself and Aini Yrbabe planned to break fast together. Awww. ^^

Just now, received a call from Aini Yrbabe. Again, talked about Friday plan. I'm not sure myself, I'll try to make it.

Today, I feel so down. I'm sorry bestfriend I lied about this :/ I was down but I do not want to worry you. Aku tak reply text kau or tak angkat call kau je kau dah worried

I was down due to some reasons. Even if I'm still upset with you, that does not mean I don't care. Get well soon yeah? (':

Okay bye! ^^

The eighth day of fasting.

2010-08-18T23:53:00.005+08:00

Well, I just came back. Break fast with Nash Chinese (the one I used to be so close with during secondary school days), Boboi Kua'i Kua'i and the gf who owns the same nickname as me, Yana. Boboi Kua'i Kua'i, your gf is sweet, sweeter than me. I = stone :( Haha! ^^ It was'nt a last minute plan until I was about to change the plan to meeting Nash Chinese only after break fasting. We break our fast at Bugis, and we were late! Okay, after that, went home since Nash Chinese got tagging. Things happenned and I shall not elaborate it. Nash Chinese, you will be fine ^^

We should play pool the next time. & Boboi Kua'i Kua'i warned me not to lost contact, means, KEEP IN TOUCH. Haha, aww alright ^^

Anddy Hisham invited me to watch him play takraw with his crazycaczxcas friends but didn't got the time. Sorry yeahh.

Oh & congratulations to my dear Olevel friends. I heard that most of you got good grades for Olevel Mt. Proud of you guys. *Hug each one of you, especially my dearest fellow friends*

My bestfriend called and ends the conversation with the magic words, yeay! ^^

I would like to have this opportunity to wish Siti Nur Ain a Happy Eve Birthday! I will again update about this tmr. Love you dearest^^

HANDPHONE IS WEIRD TODAY. I feel like bitchslapping it already, tsk!

Random !
While I'm updating this, I am chatting with my ex, Muz Mogwai (haha!). DISGUSTING SIA YOU! Shall not indicate why. You is disgusting you know. Haha.

The seventh day of fasting.

2010-08-17T23:56:00.004+08:00

At 2pm, I received a wake up call from Frinaz. I accompanied her to see a doctor and then, we went to Woodlands Bazzar. I swear I got irritated by some of the workers there. I am referring to one of the stall. During this fasting month, you shouldn't be rude as to disturb girls. My mouth couldn't stop spouting vulgarites at them. Then, we met Syair to slack. We then fetch Fareez Aiman, my little brother. SAW SADDAM AND WAVED HIM! ^^

Mom cooked Fareez Aiman's favorite food, and he had 3 rounds of it while the rest, 1 round. I think my Little brother will be as fat as me, one fine day, haha.

After break fast, received a call from Bestfriend. We met at Causeway Point for movie with Bella & Adeel. The plan was cancel so we headed to Marsiling for pool. Them boys played Billard so fine while we girls struggled to even shoot the the white balls at the ball we aimed. Tsk. After the first round of billards, we played pool. & I win Bella! ^^ Okay, actually, I'm not good at it.

Cabbed home.

Sorry if I didnt keep my word. Saye tidak ade semangat untuk update lagi panjang. Bukannye orang heran pun, *jeling* Okay bye! ^^